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Thanks for swinging by my humble blog about 20-something wedding planning, homemaking, and relationships. And cats.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

No Longer the Maiden…why I am abandoning the Triune Goddess concept.

As a teen, I proudly called myself Wiccan. As I grew older, my views changed, my path wound round in confusing knots and I eventually settled for the term "pagan". Even though I do not call myself Wiccan, I do find myself using Wiccan terminology and religious expressions in talking and writing about my own beliefs. Wicca sits well with my love of archetype, and has done wonders for creating, or at the very least raising awareness of, archetypes.

First let me address, briefly, my view of Pagan Gnosticism. I have read the Gnostic Gospels and the infamous Jesus Mysteries (the series of books about Gnosticism, mysticism and the history of Christianity), and come to this understanding: Gnosticsm implies layers of belief and increasingly complex layers of understanding. In the "Jesus Mysteries" the authors state that (and I'm paraphrasing here) that Inner Mysteries, or the deeper truths, are reserved for the religiously elite (priestly castes and religious scholars), and that the Outer Mysteries are for the rest of the population, those that either should not or cannot comprehend the deeper truths. So in this sense, it is both true that the gods are separate and distinct personalities but also true that they are reflections of a larger divine force. Both ideas seem to be conflicting (hard vs. soft polytheism for example), but the Pagan Gnostic realizes that they aren't conflicting, and would further assert that it is also true that the deities themselves are merely metaphorical. All three of these truths are simultaneously true and valid. I will address Pagan Gnosticism in a later post.

So, while I no longer consider myself Wiccan I find their ideas and terms work well for me (privately, socially, and politically). I am a Pagan Gnostic in that I do not worship The Goddess, but many goddesses, yet consider all of these goddesses to be one great Goddess, but not a Triple Goddess. I used to identify with the Maiden, Mother, Crone triad, that metaphor of womanhood. This concept stands for the three major phases in the woman's life: her youth or virginal state, her adult state or state of childbearing, and her crone or post-menopausal state.

The virgin state irritates me the most. The Christian bible places a great deal of emphasis on the value of a bride in her virginal state (I will not bother to post specific verses, but please read Leviticus and "God and Sex" by Michael Coogan for an amazing scholarly study of gender roles in the bible), and the value of a woman based solely on her ability to reproduce. This virginal state is seen as optimal, and honestly contributes to the marginalization of women even today. In this virginal state, the Goddess or the woman in untamed, free, wild, pure, true to herself, innocent and strong. Then, she knows a man and gives birth. It's as if all those traits which made her desirable are gone; she is no longer free. She is captive to the cycles of nature. Many argue that the ancients did not view womanhood in the manner, yet I argue they certainly did. Read any of the ancient Grecco-Roman scholars and you will see comment after on comment on how people, particularly women, are to behave sexually. You will see an emphasis on the importance of virginity (how many maidens does Zeus and so many other gods deflower?).

The Mother is just that, the Mother. Many have begun to realize that this archetype just doesn't work anymore. We don't have sex solely for reproduction. Women are taking charge of their sexuality and expressing themselves sexually in unions different than the "typical" Judeo-Christian understanding: they aren't necessarily getting married, and they aren't necessarily having children. The idea of virgin meets man becomes mother does not work in a modern concept. I am a woman who is sexually active, mature, and capable of bearing children, although biologically I've been capable of this since I was fourteen with the onset of menstruation. Virginity and motherhood seem to be at complete odds with one another, conflicting. What do you a call woman who is no longer a virgin, no longer a little girl, but does not have children? She is that strange in-between, in a liminal stage to which the great archetype does not apply. One could argue that Aphrodite once fit this mold, sexually free, independent, and certainly no virgin (and then she has a couple godlings of her own and moves on into the next stage of life).

This is not to become a feminist rant, but rather to inquire as to why we, as modern Pagans, as sexually liberated people, continue to accept a metaphor for a life cycle which very rarely applies in our modern context. The metaphor is a simple one- the virgin is spring, the virgin is purity and beginnings- as if sex and menstruation are not pure and beginnings in and of themselves. The Crone is death, she's barrenness, she's cruelty- why is it that the postmenopausal woman must become a destroyer? Why is she necessarily wanton and harsh? In my Pagan context, these metaphors do not apply. I am not a virgin, the crones I know are not cruel as winter (and winter itself is not cruel). These speak to a past where we were ruled by the forces of nature, and this does not happen in our modern world (speaking of course of developed countries, with a respectful nod for those that aren't, and noting once again this is not a political discussion), where winter meant death and spring life.

I am abandoning the concept of the Triple Goddess. She cannot explain my life right now, where I am at, this liminal place of not-mother-not-virgin. Someday, I hope to be a mother, but even then I will not bow to a metaphor that deems my eventual menopause as destruction. I am a woman, and I will not be limited and cannot be explained by a simple archetype.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

First Post!

This is my first post on my new Pagan blog, inspired in part by all the drama from the Circle of Moms contest (which I will likely comment on at some point in the near future). Let me begin by introducing myself and stating my goals for this blog.

Who am I?
I am a 24-year-old Libra, two semesters away from graduating with a BS in Anthropology, with a minor in Folklore. I'm in love with mythology and world religion, and have made it my academic specialty. I am an intern for the museum here, and spend most of my time sorting through old documents and filing them. It's less than glamorous, but I do get to hang out with skeletons and various bits and bobbles that have been excavated over the years.

I am a family tradition tarot reader and witch. Tarot reading (or some version thereof) has been in my family for several generations, and my great-great grandmother made her living summoning spirits and reading people's fortunes. Most of our witchy knowledge is tied up in superstition and folklore, of knowing without knowing, of trusting and feeling. We are naturals, born able to do what we do. Ours is a path that exists apart from religion, and we run the gamut from agnostic to Mormon. I am a Pagan, meaning that I worship ancient gods and follow these traditions as closely as possible in a modern context. I am an anthropologist, highly educated, and my path is based around my knowledge and understanding. I do not perpetuate myth and sillyness, and I always try to provide academic data and proper sourcing to back up anything I say. I have been actively walking the Pagan Path for eleven years as of this October. My fiance is a recent convert to Paganism. He was chosen by Odin and is on the road to defining what his Path is.


My own "witchy powers" are even less glamorous than my job. I am not psychic but hypersensitive. I saw ghosts as a child, and I firmly believe in the power of thought. About all I can do with any accuracy is make it rain.


I have not trained with a coven, nor do I have any intention of doing so. For a time, I studied with Sacred Mists Online Coven. Due to my inability to accept the blatant misinformation, the constant fluffy-bunny attitude, the nature of the High Priestess, and many other issues, I parted ways. I have very little good to say about Sacred Mists, but I will not slander them. I am family trained, academically educated, and I have been around. Does this make me qualified to speak on Pagan issues? I don't know. I do know that I am a Pagan, a young Pagan at a time of transition from single to wife, and eventually to mother.


My goals for this blog include providing a mature, educated youth's opinion on Pagan issues and the more mundane side of Pagan living. I want to write about interfaith issues, conversion issues, family issues, and relationship issues from a Pagan perspective. I want to write about what it is like becoming a wife, what it is like to live with your boyfriend before you are married in a Pagan context. I want to dispel the myths and misinformation that so often accompany the mention of Paganism and Wicca. I am not yet a Mother, but I am no longer a Maiden, and there has to be a place for us somewhere.

I live in the western half of the United States, nestled in the rocky mountains of Idaho. It's easy to feel close to nature here. However, like all populated places, we have our share of religious extremists. Here it is impossible to avoid Mormons (LDS, or the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints). They are the dominant religion, and are very good at singling out non-Mormons. Most of my religious discrimination experiences come not from my Bible-thumping neighbors during my homeless southern years, but from the Mormons. Some of my posting will be related to Mormonism as well as general Christianity.

I would not be being completely honest if I did not mention my bias. Let me state clearly that I respect everyone's right to believe and practice their beliefs insofar as they do not hinder the ability of anyone else to do the same, and insofar as no harm comes to anyone else in the process. This means that I do not approve of morally mandated legislature. I am not a fan of Mormonism, nor of any Abrahamic religion (particularly Christianity). I'll just put that out there. I have read the Bible from cover to cover three times, and I see nothing but hate, lies, evil, murder, torture, rape, incest, and the mistreatment of women contained in this "holy" text. The history of Christianity speaks for itself, and I do not believe there is any factual reason to believe in the authority of the Bible. It is flawed. For all its flaws there is some good contained in it, but no more than a Robert Frost poem or a Hallmark card. However, I do not hate Christianity, nor do I hate Christians. What I hate is people using their religion to further their religious agendas. Hell, I went to Catholic school and almost became a nun!

That said, I do apologize if any posts I make now or in the future come across harshly. I do strive to provide fair treatment of any subject I discuss. I respect the rights of all individuals to believe as they do, and practice as they do, but that doesn't mean I have to agree with you nor like what you believe. You can be sure that I will never berate anyone for their beliefs, and I will not resort to ad hominem attacks. I suppose it's difficult to be fair and open-minded, but I do try. I find that by admitting my biases I can come to terms with them, and I will become a better and more tolerant person. I just hope you will bear with me along this ride.

Whew! This post was incredibly long and I will sum by mentioning that eventually I will import interesting articles from my other blog. In the meantime, go vote for your favorite mommy blogs at Circle of Moms.