I learned this week exactly what my fiance's family thinks of me, and I am hardly surprised. To begin, this is his father's side of the family, die-hard Mormon, very traditional, very anti-anything different. (His mother's side loves me.)
The extended family views me as dangerous, a witch (which is not entirely false but their perception of it is), and that the MIL and FIL shouldn't allow the little girls (fiance's sisters) to spend they night with us, because I will corrupt them. I'm also apparently creepy because I hang around in graveyards (and I have a few pics of me in them). I learned all this about three days before we were supposed to go visit them in Nevada for four days. Fortunately, fate saw to it the car broke down and the trip was cancelled.
Fiance also came out to his mother this same week. He told her is not Mormon, so she asked what he was. He told her was Norse pagan, and said he worships old gods. She cried and basically said that if at any point she thought he was into something dangerous, she'd cut him out of her life. Just like that. She then asked if it was because of me.
The fact of the matter is, no matter what happens in the near future, his family will always blame me for him leaving the Mormon church. They blamed me for convincing him to move in with me, when in fact it was his idea (he cleared this up, fortunately). They will always see me as a corruptive force, no matter how much they may like me as a person. He has stood up to his father when he called me an atheist, and I have no doubt he will support me should his family overstep their bounds.
Relationship evangelism- it happens:
No, I did not set out to convert my fiance to paganism. Like many people of various religious persuasions, I often thought it would be nice to share my faith with someone, to build a family tradition around. I wish I could say I'd never tried a little pagan style evangelism, but I did.
It began with a critical discussion of the LDS church. Once my fiancé double-checked my facts and data, his worldview underwent a radical shift, and he began to learn and study all he could about Mormonism, finally deciding to leave it for good. He still considered himself Christian, and we had no issues or problems. Then he began to ask me questions about my faith, and I answered him.
As you live and grow with a person, you cannot help but pick up certain traits and habits and develop new ones together. Religiosity is much the same- stay with someone long enough and you'll pick up a few quirks here and there.
Does this constitute evangelism? To a degree I did intentionally plant the seeds of doubt in a mind that already questioned but admitted he was too afraid to question. He says I was the support he needed to feel strong and brave, and that because of me he has found his walk.
Is it relationship evangelism to talk, to seek, to grow together, to provide the answers the other one asks for? Perhaps. But did I enter in to this relationship with the intention of converting him? No, I most certainly did not. Religion was never an issue for me, or for him.
They are afraid of my intermittent dark clothing choices, my love of ouija and tarot and cemetery walks; they'll never understand my doll collecting or my quirkiness, and that's fine. My only wish is that they will take the time to come to know me as a person, and perhaps find some way to overlook the labels and all the baggage that has been placed on me by those labels. Maybe they'll even like me.
So, here are some points to share with non-pagan in-laws:
You don't need to be afraid of us.
1. Pagans do not worship Satan (we do not believe he exists outside of the Christian religion).
2. We do not condone, encourage, or engage in abuse of any kind: this includes animal abuse, sacrifice, and slaughter, human abuse, sacrifice and slaughter, and sexual abuse, humiliation, or misconduct of any kind. Any pagan engaging in such practices is most certainly a nutcase, and not a pagan.
3. When your pagan inlaw refers to themselves as pagan, they may mean: Asatru, Wiccan, witch, neo-pagan, eclectic pagan, etc. Each pagan will believe differently, and most love to answer questions and point you to proper resources.
4. A pagan who practices magic or tarot or other sort of magical or divinatory practice does not do so with the intent to gain power or control others.
5. Pagans have ethics too. They believe that morals and ethics are relative, and each tradition will have it's own ethics (for example, we of the Northern persuasion believe in honor, hospitability, hard work, loyalty, family, etc).
6. A pagan believes in God, and probably a lot of them (though they could be atheistic, but this is less common).
7. Pagans are not set to destroy Christianity or related religions, nor are they set to bring about the end of American society. Most pagans are simply pluralists, who believe all religions and people should have equal rights, regardless of label.
8. Always, always ask questions.
No comments:
Post a Comment