Crafting a Shared Pagan Path Part 1

Part 1: Discussion and Communication

My fiancé is a recent devotee of the Path. He made the decision over a year ago to explore, and recently decided on the term he'd liked to be called. He has begun reading the myths and stories of the old gods, as well as modern literature on pagan practice. He is exploring the Northern Tradition, though he does not consider himself Asatru, and does not feel it is his path at this time. This means he worships Germanic deities exclusively, recognizing the existence of all gods and holds the same pagan-gnostic principle that I do: while each god is separate and distinct, at some level they are the reflections of the same force.

We have begun developing a shared path, and it has been difficult and worthwhile in many ways. This is our way of establishing a family system, a structure we can raise our children in while still allowing them the freedom of expression.

I don't know what you call me. I'm eclectic, that's for sure, and I've had a few conversations with various deities of different pantheons (Greco-Roman and Norse specifically) and I conduct my practice in much the same way I did when I was content with the "Wiccan" label. I'm not sure I care much either way what I'm called.

I'd like to spend some time with this blog talking about the development of our religious life, as separate from and a part of our more mundane relationship. To do this I will break up all the ideas in my head, focusing on one or two subjects at a time. This time I'd like to focus on the importance of communication.

You absolutely cannot have a relationship that is healthy of any kind without communication. Communication is the only way you can let each other know what is working and what is not working. This can be difficult when you're working with your partner, because you don't want to offend them or hurt them.

Ask questions. Ask your partner to share what spiritual experiences with you they will. Ask them about their thoughts on issues related to morality, ethics, theology, practice, etc. Learn where your ideas meet and where they differ. Talk about these.

Through asking questions you can come to a decision together about when you will worship together, how you will worship together, who you will worship, and work together to establish a ritual structure that is meaningful to both of you.

Communication helps establish boundaries as well. Will you share all your spiritual experiences? Will you share a Book of Shadows/magical journal (if applicable)? Will you each have separate ones and one joint one? Who will write rituals? Who will lead rituals? When will you worship together, and when will you worship individually?

It is important to have moments of private worship, reflection, meditation, whatever helps you to feel spiritual. You are a person separate from your partner, and just as you need mundane time apart on occasion you need spiritual time apart as well.

Through discussion, my partner and I have:

1. Established which holidays we will celebrate. This means the standard Wheel of Eight, for me, the full moons, and other holidays he explores that have meanign for him.

2. Established ritual work. We use the Wiccan structure in general. I act as teacher, at this moment, and it is what I am most comfortable with. We include that which is important to him, including sacrifice/gift-exchange, blot/sumbel, toasting, etc.

3. We write rituals together. He wants to learn how I do it, and I want him to feel comfortable eventually writing his own. We work together to determine readings and other important aspects of ritual.

4. He happily takes the role commonly assigned to the H.P.

5. Determined we enjoy the presence of friends and other interested parties.

6. Have decided together who we will be out-of-the-broom closet with, and how we will answer questions together.

7. Established that on occasion there will be individual experiences and worship times and we do not require or intrude on privacy. If we want to share, we will share, and there is no prying (though honestly there's very little we don't share).

8. Often teach each other things the other does not know.

So, in a nutshell, communication is very important before even getting into the details of all that goes into establishing a shared path. When one partner, like myself, finds themselves in the position of teacher, it is a fair bit easier to set structure. It is important to remember the other person will have their own experiences, and open-mindedness is key.

Talk to each other. Everything else will flow from there.

Next post should be a review of Michelle Belanger's book "The Ghost Hunter's Survival Guide"

Mabon/Winter Finding/Autumn Equinox

We celebrated our first holiday with my fiancé- a mostly-out-of-the-broom-closet pagan. He's been exploring and learning about the Northern Tradition. It's very interesting, learning with him and how to make our two paths work and meet to form something we can both celebrate and enjoy.

I finally decided I no longer care whether I am called Wiccan or not. Labels don't mean anything to me, and I've happily accepted much if not most of my structure comes from Wicca. I'm a eclectic at heart, and I simply cannot limit myself to one tradition or another or I feel stifled and lost.

We worked together to create a ritual and celebration of Mabon for me, Autumn Equinox for our non-pagan/or pagan curious guests, and Winter Finding for him.

It was a lovely celebration. We had three dear friends join in. My fiancé, Mr. T, was super excited and got very into things, happily involving himself as priest of our little family circle, and even helped call the circle itself. I used it as a teaching experience, lecturing about the symbolism of the seasons, the colors, the cycle of life, death, and rebirth.

The feast consisted of homemade bread, my popular garlic butter rolls (recipe at the bottom of this post), homemade bread, and my first ever pork roast. Guests brought plenty of apples and other homemade dishes, and we all left stuffed and happy. We did a little apple divination (ask a yes or no question while twisting the apple stem). In creating the feast, I thought long and hard about whether I would be stepping on the rights of others to imbue the food with magic for health, strength, etc. I ended up simply cooking with warming herbs and other herbs related to the season, and figured the warmth and good cheer could go without saying. We would (and did) create it together.

Then we got hammered.

Homemade peach wine (divine), Jaegar, Vodka, and bitch beer do not a happy Mr. T stomach make. What happened was something neither of us understand, but he underwent a powerful psychic transformation encouraged by the booze. Mind altering substances have been used since the dawn of humanity to encourage spiritual experiences. When one's mind is free, things that need to be said are said, things needed to be felt are felt. What better time than Mabon? Perfect for an old self to die and a new one to be reborn.

This led into a new period of spirituality for the two of us. We've been consciously focusing on creating a spiritual structure for us. We've been discussing the things that make us feel as though we are in a ritual environment (as most things from incense to the Catholic priest's robes are designed to take you from that mundane world into the sacred; read Eliade for information on the sacred and profane), and that sort of thing.

We both invested in some basic ritual gear, things that made us feel "witchy". Sometimes that extra boost is all you need. He purchased a tunic of panne velvet (which I could have made but not for the price we got it) and a purple and black floor-length hooded robe for me (which again, could have made but not for the price). He also purchased his first athame.

Together, last evening, we led a private handfasting for two wonderful friends of ours. This was a potent experience for the both of us, and I hope it was for them as well. We dressed in our ritual garb, and he adorned his face with runes. I draped myself in pentacles and decided to let go and just let the experience move me.

It did.

I'm slowly overcoming the blocks I've placed for myself, and I am finding fulfillment in my path again.

As promised, my garlic-cheddar biscuits:

I recommend you serve these hot, as once they are cool they lack something. Still delicious, apparently, but I prefer them fresh from the oven.

Next post: Mrs. T's Guide to Crafting a Shared Pagan Path

Ingredients:

2 cups of flower
1-2 tbls baking powder

2 tsp sugar

1/4 tsp salt (can choose to leave out)

3/4 cup butter or margarine

1/2-1 cup milk

Garlic power, garlic salt, diced garlic.

Graded cheddar

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Mix together flower, sugar, salt, and garlic powder. If you want them more salt, use garlic salt. Play with the mixture as you practice making these to get an exact proportion you like. Add diced garlic, stir in milk and 1/2 butter. Stir until dough is well mixed and not sticky, adding flour and milk as needed. Add cheese, stir.

Place small-ish balls of dough on a cookie sheet (exact size is up to you, smaller cooks faster). Top with more cheddar and garlic if you wish, and bake for 6-8 minutes or until golden brown.

While cooking, prepare garlic butter. Melt the extra butter for the recipe, and blend in diced garlic and garlic powder/salt. When biscuits are done, remove from oven and drizzle with the garlic butter.

This recipe should make around a dozen to two dozen (can't quite recall) biscuits, depending on the size you make. Enjoy!

Pagan Wedding Planning: Making a Witchy Dress

So my dress is far from witchy, but it's quite fairy tale-esque.

So how can you bring witchy/pagan elements into a relatively "normal" wedding dress? Here are a few things I'm considering:

1. Blessing Spells: Since I won't be performing spells or obvious ritual work at the wedding itself, I plan on doing some similar spells and rituals on my dress. If you choose to do something like this just be sure to keep away anything that could stain or damage the dress in anyway far away from it.

2. Charms: I'm also considering sewing charms into the dress. This could be either literal jewelry charms or the spell kind, stitched into the dress in either obvious or not so obvious places, like the underskirt. If I do this, I will probably put runes to match our handfasting cords.

3. Jewelry: This is more easily done. A little pentacle necklace or carefully chosen stone can give the right elements. I would like to wear a circlet, I think, with Celtic knotwork.

I think anything chosen with intent can serve a magical or witchy purpose.

Relationship Evangelism, and What to do with your Non-pagan In-laws

I learned this week exactly what my fiance's family thinks of me, and I am hardly surprised. To begin, this is his father's side of the family, die-hard Mormon, very traditional, very anti-anything different. (His mother's side loves me.)

The extended family views me as dangerous, a witch (which is not entirely false but their perception of it is), and that the MIL and FIL shouldn't allow the little girls (fiance's sisters) to spend they night with us, because I will corrupt them. I'm also apparently creepy because I hang around in graveyards (and I have a few pics of me in them). I learned all this about three days before we were supposed to go visit them in Nevada for four days. Fortunately, fate saw to it the car broke down and the trip was cancelled.

Fiance also came out to his mother this same week. He told her is not Mormon, so she asked what he was. He told her was Norse pagan, and said he worships old gods. She cried and basically said that if at any point she thought he was into something dangerous, she'd cut him out of her life. Just like that. She then asked if it was because of me.

The fact of the matter is, no matter what happens in the near future, his family will always blame me for him leaving the Mormon church. They blamed me for convincing him to move in with me, when in fact it was his idea (he cleared this up, fortunately). They will always see me as a corruptive force, no matter how much they may like me as a person. He has stood up to his father when he called me an atheist, and I have no doubt he will support me should his family overstep their bounds.

Relationship evangelism- it happens:

No, I did not set out to convert my fiance to paganism. Like many people of various religious persuasions, I often thought it would be nice to share my faith with someone, to build a family tradition around. I wish I could say I'd never tried a little pagan style evangelism, but I did.

It began with a critical discussion of the LDS church. Once my fiancé double-checked my facts and data, his worldview underwent a radical shift, and he began to learn and study all he could about Mormonism, finally deciding to leave it for good. He still considered himself Christian, and we had no issues or problems. Then he began to ask me questions about my faith, and I answered him.

As you live and grow with a person, you cannot help but pick up certain traits and habits and develop new ones together. Religiosity is much the same- stay with someone long enough and you'll pick up a few quirks here and there.

Does this constitute evangelism? To a degree I did intentionally plant the seeds of doubt in a mind that already questioned but admitted he was too afraid to question. He says I was the support he needed to feel strong and brave, and that because of me he has found his walk.

Is it relationship evangelism to talk, to seek, to grow together, to provide the answers the other one asks for? Perhaps. But did I enter in to this relationship with the intention of converting him? No, I most certainly did not. Religion was never an issue for me, or for him.

They are afraid of my intermittent dark clothing choices, my love of ouija and tarot and cemetery walks; they'll never understand my doll collecting or my quirkiness, and that's fine. My only wish is that they will take the time to come to know me as a person, and perhaps find some way to overlook the labels and all the baggage that has been placed on me by those labels. Maybe they'll even like me.

So, here are some points to share with non-pagan in-laws:

You don't need to be afraid of us.

1. Pagans do not worship Satan (we do not believe he exists outside of the Christian religion).

2. We do not condone, encourage, or engage in abuse of any kind: this includes animal abuse, sacrifice, and slaughter, human abuse, sacrifice and slaughter, and sexual abuse, humiliation, or misconduct of any kind. Any pagan engaging in such practices is most certainly a nutcase, and not a pagan.

3. When your pagan inlaw refers to themselves as pagan, they may mean: Asatru, Wiccan, witch, neo-pagan, eclectic pagan, etc. Each pagan will believe differently, and most love to answer questions and point you to proper resources.

4. A pagan who practices magic or tarot or other sort of magical or divinatory practice does not do so with the intent to gain power or control others.

5. Pagans have ethics too. They believe that morals and ethics are relative, and each tradition will have it's own ethics (for example, we of the Northern persuasion believe in honor, hospitability, hard work, loyalty, family, etc).

6. A pagan believes in God, and probably a lot of them (though they could be atheistic, but this is less common).

7. Pagans are not set to destroy Christianity or related religions, nor are they set to bring about the end of American society. Most pagans are simply pluralists, who believe all religions and people should have equal rights, regardless of label.

8. Always, always ask questions.

9. Read as much as you can, but from neutral sources first (Christian sources notoriously misrepresent paganism with lies and false stories of their conversions from paganism; these have been routinely proven false.)

Our First Midsummer

On June 21st, my almost-husband and I celebrated our first Midsummer as a family coven. We worked together to craft something that draws from both our faiths (my Wiccan-esque eclecticism and his Asatru) and was unique and meaningful. The most meaningful thing we did was the Oath Making. We passed a glass of Mike's Hard Lemonade (mostly because we aren't wine fans) and made promises to one another, promises to grow in our relationship and our spirituality, to learn from the past and move forward into our new life. We promised to love ourselves and always do our best for one another.

The Midsummer for us was a chance to take stock of our lives, to recognize what we have and what we have accomplished. As we head towards the darker, colder months, we must always remember that we have each other, that there is light and hope no matter how bleak things may seem. This was especially important to us this year, as we dealt with my being disowned by my family and the betrayal of a very dear old friend. We will move forward in honor, in truth, and in love despite the negativity. In Llewellyn's Sabbats Almanac this year there is a wonderful piece on the Norse gods, particularly Tyr and Sunna, and I definitely recommend reading it if you haven't already.

It was also a time for us to think of our plans for next Midsummer, the day we plan on wedding. It is fitting that the focus on preventing negativity comes during such an emotional time as wedding planning. I find myself worried and increasingly superficial about some details of the wedding business, and one my goals for the rest of the year is to conquer this. In a year, we will be husband and wife.

The Future Mrs T's Midsummer Potpourri Recipe:

The following recipe uses the term "parts" to mean whatever base measurement you want. For this measurement I used teaspoons. Note that you can burn this, and I did so in my little cauldron. They gave off a very nice scent, and not entirely potent. My whole house smelled wonderful for several hours after. Be sure to crush/bruise each ingredient with your mortar and pestle, and mix together afterward.

1 Part Chamomile (flowers preferably, but I used dried tea)
1 Part Rose (flowers, not oil)
2 Parts Lavender (bruise this so it gives off a stronger scent)
1 Part Mugwort

The Future Mrs T's Cleansing and Joy-Inducing Potpourri:

The following recipe uses the term "parts" to mean whatever base measurement you want. For this measurement I used teaspoons. Note that you can burn this, and I did so in my little cauldron. They gave off a very nice scent, and not entirely potent. My whole house smelled wonderful for several hours after. Be sure to crush/bruise each ingredient with your mortar and pestle, and mix together afterward.

1-2 Bay leaves
1 part cloves (don't use the oil if you can help it; clove oil is very expensive)
1 part chamomile (flowers preferably, but I used tea for this one too)
1/2 part basil
1 part Valerian (Valerian is very, very stinky, but the stink is washed out by the rose and lavender)
1 part rosemary

Blend all the ingredients together in an appropriately sized bowl, and then add to a small sachet or other little bag to store. Be sure to label what they are so you don't forget over time.

Wishing Stones:
In the afore mentioned Sabbats Almanac, they offered a great idea called wishing stones. You hold a stone, walk around the fire whispering your wish to the stone, and toss it into the fire. We plan on incorporating a version of this into our reception next year.


The next post to follow will be a crafty post, on how to make a miniature spellbook/Book of Shadows.

Don't forget to check out the Pagan Mom Blog and the 30 Days of Deity project. It's sure to be something really impressive!

Why Paganism and magical practices are not a quest for power…and how they are.

Disclaimer: In this article I seem to be using the terms paganism and witchcraft or magical system interchangeably. This is not meant to imply they are the same thing, but rather that in the mind of our opposition that they very much are. I do fully understand and recognize that not all witches are pagans, not all pagans are witches, etc. etc. The use of gender specific phrases such as "he" or "his" is entirely unintentional and used as a literary device, nothing more.

Many times in my research and dealings with those (principally Christians, but not limited to this group) accusations fly in regards to devil worship, problems with Christianity in the past, teen rebellion, and, my favorite, the desire for power. Many nice articles have been written as rebuttals to common attacks, but I choose to focus on power for the time being. This article focuses mainly on Wiccans and those who practices witchcraft or other magical traditions.

What is power?

pow·er/ˈpouər/
Noun: The ability to do something or act in a particular way, esp. as a faculty or quality.
(http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/power)

This can be incredibly philosophical. Power is having strength, power is having the potential to exact that strength but not necessarily choosing to do so. Power means having the ability to act, to do something, but doesn't necessarily mean to use it (for good or ill). Often the quest for power is in reference to seeking control or dominance over others, but in a philosophical and political context, certainly not in a religious or spiritual one.

When Christians accuse pagans and witches of seeking after power, they show a marked lack of understanding for what both power and the pagan ways really are. They show a fear of political upset, of a shift in power from one where there is an ultimate, kingly, divine authority to one in which that authority is not so easily defined. For the Christian, his religion is one of supplication to his god. It is the relationship of an average citizen to a king, one in which the lines of power are clearly drawn.

Control
–verb (used with object)
1. to exercise restraint or direction over; dominate; command.
(http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/control)

In the Christian mind, when he or she accuses the pagan or witch of lusting after power, what he really means is control, in the negative sense, of seeking to use power to control or influence others. And in one sense they are right. Spells are often done to encourage peace between others, and sometimes to manipulate others. So yes, this accusation can be true. However, this is a superficial understanding. Magic is rarely the entire focus of a path, and in fact we are often encouraged to focus on mundane methods first before turning to magical ones. We are asking the divine, in whatever form we view it, to assist on our behalf. It is the same as a prayer, it is the same as smearing lamb's blood across a door to tell an angry god not to kill you.

Power and control often go hand in hand, both negatively and positively. Many Pagans will use both power and control in taking command of their own lives in recognizing their responsibility. Paganism is about responsibility, not controlling others.

Power in the Pagan context means recognizing that each action we take, each decision we make, has consequences. Power means that you must realize that you will face the consequences of what you choose. Power means having control over the self, of being able to stand up for oneself, of being able to choose between what is right and wrong in the individual's context.

Paganism itself is not a quest for power, no more than Christianity is a quest for a Ferrari and a megachurch. A religion or a philosophy cannot be blamed for one person's greed; Pagan religions are first and foremost about taking responsibility and recognizing the power already contained within, and recognizing the power we have to shape our lives based on the choices we make and the consequences of those choices. Just as we cannot assume that all witches are using magical forces for purposes of gaining control over others we cannot assume that all Christians are using religious forces to gain power and control over others, though politically it is the Christians who are attempting to do just that. I've always said it is the loud-mouthed minority that gives the rest of us a bad name. That is true of any religion, and even we pagans have our extremists.

Certainly someone, somewhere is indeed motivated by a drive for power, however they define it. It is unfair to assume that even the majority of those who walk a pagan path or practice a magical tradition such as witchcraft of being motivated solely by this quest.

Power and the Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll accusation: Connections Between Helplessness and the Need for Control

It is my opinion that those who level charges of power hunger at Wiccans and other pagans are doing so because of a misunderstanding of the differences between power and control. Many "ex-Wiccans" claim that the further they delved into magical practices the further downward their lives spiraled into a vicious cycle of unhealthy promiscuity and drug use. Many times they see Jesus as the figure who not only saves them from these dark roads and by extension, paganism. People, in this case Christians, fear their loss of self-control, and attribute it to their involvement with whatever stripe of occultism they found themselves in. This is a false connection, one not based on fact. In reality, drug use is symptomatic of other issues, often depression. They want to feel good, to feel better than they do right now, and they see drugs and sex as the vehicle to attain this feel-good sensation. During the weaker times in a person's life, he or she may find themselves turning to a drug in response to dissatisfaction from something in their lives. Religion, for many, is a drug. A fanatic will always be a fanatic regardless of what religion s/he claims to follow.

In a way one can see how the Christians are coming to their conclusion that Wicca and paganism are the same as these drugs, inducing a feel-good feeling and a sense of control over ones life. This is not the case. At the philosophical level, paganism is about self-control, of reaching within the self for control and for realization without the dependence on external mediums; real strength comes from within, not without. Wicca and paganism work on a paradigm built around self-control and self-actualization, something to which a drug can often be a shortcut.

Drug use itself is a touchy subject. I will state that I do not believe in drug use, nor have I ever used a drug (this excludes of course certain medical pills that were taken according to direction and never abused; I refused Vicodin after a surgery, for example, relying on Tylenol and meditation instead). I have seen far too many lives ruined by drug abuse (and I have been the victim of a drug-abuser in the past). My paganism encourages me to seek deep within myself for the control I seek. I become empowered with the knowledge that each action I take has meaning. While some spiritual paths do use mind-altering substances to assist in spiritual development, it is not even remotely universally encouraged by any pagan tradition.

To those Christians, and anyone really, that find Wicca at the same time they discover drugs and an inner rage at society or their families or whoever, Wicca becomes the cause and the symptom. They cannot separate the religion from their own weaknesses, and thus feel justified in leveling the charges they do against us.

Pay a visit to youtube and watch some ex-witch testimonies. They always begin with a rebellion, an anger against their god. They always descend into some form of alternative culture (rock, Goth, you name it), and from there into drugs. Often this is at the same time they are discovering Wicca and working with magical forces. Eventually they attribute it all to a rebellion against god, they get help, and they promptly become evangelical Christians.

While this is a subject worth far more consideration than I have space to do so here, I hope I have at least touched on the issue and encouraged a little critical thought. In summary, take away the following points:

1. Power and control are not synonymous and not always abused

2. Pagan religions encourage self-control and self-actualizatio, and positive expressions of the power we have over ourselves through our decision-making and acceptance of responsibility. We have no Satan to blame- only ourselves.

3. Christian accusations are bound up in fears and false understandings, and by trying to understand the source of these fears in a psychological rather than religious way we can find better ways of addressing their concerns and dispelling the misunderstandings and false connections.

Other sources:
The National Institute of Drug Abuse http://www.nida.nih.gov/pubs/teaching/Teaching6/Teaching3.html

No Longer the Maiden…why I am abandoning the Triune Goddess concept.

As a teen, I proudly called myself Wiccan. As I grew older, my views changed, my path wound round in confusing knots and I eventually settled for the term "pagan". Even though I do not call myself Wiccan, I do find myself using Wiccan terminology and religious expressions in talking and writing about my own beliefs. Wicca sits well with my love of archetype, and has done wonders for creating, or at the very least raising awareness of, archetypes.

First let me address, briefly, my view of Pagan Gnosticism. I have read the Gnostic Gospels and the infamous Jesus Mysteries (the series of books about Gnosticism, mysticism and the history of Christianity), and come to this understanding: Gnosticsm implies layers of belief and increasingly complex layers of understanding. In the "Jesus Mysteries" the authors state that (and I'm paraphrasing here) that Inner Mysteries, or the deeper truths, are reserved for the religiously elite (priestly castes and religious scholars), and that the Outer Mysteries are for the rest of the population, those that either should not or cannot comprehend the deeper truths. So in this sense, it is both true that the gods are separate and distinct personalities but also true that they are reflections of a larger divine force. Both ideas seem to be conflicting (hard vs. soft polytheism for example), but the Pagan Gnostic realizes that they aren't conflicting, and would further assert that it is also true that the deities themselves are merely metaphorical. All three of these truths are simultaneously true and valid. I will address Pagan Gnosticism in a later post.

So, while I no longer consider myself Wiccan I find their ideas and terms work well for me (privately, socially, and politically). I am a Pagan Gnostic in that I do not worship The Goddess, but many goddesses, yet consider all of these goddesses to be one great Goddess, but not a Triple Goddess. I used to identify with the Maiden, Mother, Crone triad, that metaphor of womanhood. This concept stands for the three major phases in the woman's life: her youth or virginal state, her adult state or state of childbearing, and her crone or post-menopausal state.

The virgin state irritates me the most. The Christian bible places a great deal of emphasis on the value of a bride in her virginal state (I will not bother to post specific verses, but please read Leviticus and "God and Sex" by Michael Coogan for an amazing scholarly study of gender roles in the bible), and the value of a woman based solely on her ability to reproduce. This virginal state is seen as optimal, and honestly contributes to the marginalization of women even today. In this virginal state, the Goddess or the woman in untamed, free, wild, pure, true to herself, innocent and strong. Then, she knows a man and gives birth. It's as if all those traits which made her desirable are gone; she is no longer free. She is captive to the cycles of nature. Many argue that the ancients did not view womanhood in the manner, yet I argue they certainly did. Read any of the ancient Grecco-Roman scholars and you will see comment after on comment on how people, particularly women, are to behave sexually. You will see an emphasis on the importance of virginity (how many maidens does Zeus and so many other gods deflower?).

The Mother is just that, the Mother. Many have begun to realize that this archetype just doesn't work anymore. We don't have sex solely for reproduction. Women are taking charge of their sexuality and expressing themselves sexually in unions different than the "typical" Judeo-Christian understanding: they aren't necessarily getting married, and they aren't necessarily having children. The idea of virgin meets man becomes mother does not work in a modern concept. I am a woman who is sexually active, mature, and capable of bearing children, although biologically I've been capable of this since I was fourteen with the onset of menstruation. Virginity and motherhood seem to be at complete odds with one another, conflicting. What do you a call woman who is no longer a virgin, no longer a little girl, but does not have children? She is that strange in-between, in a liminal stage to which the great archetype does not apply. One could argue that Aphrodite once fit this mold, sexually free, independent, and certainly no virgin (and then she has a couple godlings of her own and moves on into the next stage of life).

This is not to become a feminist rant, but rather to inquire as to why we, as modern Pagans, as sexually liberated people, continue to accept a metaphor for a life cycle which very rarely applies in our modern context. The metaphor is a simple one- the virgin is spring, the virgin is purity and beginnings- as if sex and menstruation are not pure and beginnings in and of themselves. The Crone is death, she's barrenness, she's cruelty- why is it that the postmenopausal woman must become a destroyer? Why is she necessarily wanton and harsh? In my Pagan context, these metaphors do not apply. I am not a virgin, the crones I know are not cruel as winter (and winter itself is not cruel). These speak to a past where we were ruled by the forces of nature, and this does not happen in our modern world (speaking of course of developed countries, with a respectful nod for those that aren't, and noting once again this is not a political discussion), where winter meant death and spring life.

I am abandoning the concept of the Triple Goddess. She cannot explain my life right now, where I am at, this liminal place of not-mother-not-virgin. Someday, I hope to be a mother, but even then I will not bow to a metaphor that deems my eventual menopause as destruction. I am a woman, and I will not be limited and cannot be explained by a simple archetype.

First Post!

This is my first post on my new Pagan blog, inspired in part by all the drama from the Circle of Moms contest (which I will likely comment on at some point in the near future). Let me begin by introducing myself and stating my goals for this blog.

Who am I?
I am a 24-year-old Libra, two semesters away from graduating with a BS in Anthropology, with a minor in Folklore. I'm in love with mythology and world religion, and have made it my academic specialty. I am an intern for the museum here, and spend most of my time sorting through old documents and filing them. It's less than glamorous, but I do get to hang out with skeletons and various bits and bobbles that have been excavated over the years.

I am a family tradition tarot reader and witch. Tarot reading (or some version thereof) has been in my family for several generations, and my great-great grandmother made her living summoning spirits and reading people's fortunes. Most of our witchy knowledge is tied up in superstition and folklore, of knowing without knowing, of trusting and feeling. We are naturals, born able to do what we do. Ours is a path that exists apart from religion, and we run the gamut from agnostic to Mormon. I am a Pagan, meaning that I worship ancient gods and follow these traditions as closely as possible in a modern context. I am an anthropologist, highly educated, and my path is based around my knowledge and understanding. I do not perpetuate myth and sillyness, and I always try to provide academic data and proper sourcing to back up anything I say. I have been actively walking the Pagan Path for eleven years as of this October. My fiance is a recent convert to Paganism. He was chosen by Odin and is on the road to defining what his Path is.


My own "witchy powers" are even less glamorous than my job. I am not psychic but hypersensitive. I saw ghosts as a child, and I firmly believe in the power of thought. About all I can do with any accuracy is make it rain.


I have not trained with a coven, nor do I have any intention of doing so. For a time, I studied with Sacred Mists Online Coven. Due to my inability to accept the blatant misinformation, the constant fluffy-bunny attitude, the nature of the High Priestess, and many other issues, I parted ways. I have very little good to say about Sacred Mists, but I will not slander them. I am family trained, academically educated, and I have been around. Does this make me qualified to speak on Pagan issues? I don't know. I do know that I am a Pagan, a young Pagan at a time of transition from single to wife, and eventually to mother.


My goals for this blog include providing a mature, educated youth's opinion on Pagan issues and the more mundane side of Pagan living. I want to write about interfaith issues, conversion issues, family issues, and relationship issues from a Pagan perspective. I want to write about what it is like becoming a wife, what it is like to live with your boyfriend before you are married in a Pagan context. I want to dispel the myths and misinformation that so often accompany the mention of Paganism and Wicca. I am not yet a Mother, but I am no longer a Maiden, and there has to be a place for us somewhere.

I live in the western half of the United States, nestled in the rocky mountains of Idaho. It's easy to feel close to nature here. However, like all populated places, we have our share of religious extremists. Here it is impossible to avoid Mormons (LDS, or the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints). They are the dominant religion, and are very good at singling out non-Mormons. Most of my religious discrimination experiences come not from my Bible-thumping neighbors during my homeless southern years, but from the Mormons. Some of my posting will be related to Mormonism as well as general Christianity.

I would not be being completely honest if I did not mention my bias. Let me state clearly that I respect everyone's right to believe and practice their beliefs insofar as they do not hinder the ability of anyone else to do the same, and insofar as no harm comes to anyone else in the process. This means that I do not approve of morally mandated legislature. I am not a fan of Mormonism, nor of any Abrahamic religion (particularly Christianity). I'll just put that out there. I have read the Bible from cover to cover three times, and I see nothing but hate, lies, evil, murder, torture, rape, incest, and the mistreatment of women contained in this "holy" text. The history of Christianity speaks for itself, and I do not believe there is any factual reason to believe in the authority of the Bible. It is flawed. For all its flaws there is some good contained in it, but no more than a Robert Frost poem or a Hallmark card. However, I do not hate Christianity, nor do I hate Christians. What I hate is people using their religion to further their religious agendas. Hell, I went to Catholic school and almost became a nun!

That said, I do apologize if any posts I make now or in the future come across harshly. I do strive to provide fair treatment of any subject I discuss. I respect the rights of all individuals to believe as they do, and practice as they do, but that doesn't mean I have to agree with you nor like what you believe. You can be sure that I will never berate anyone for their beliefs, and I will not resort to ad hominem attacks. I suppose it's difficult to be fair and open-minded, but I do try. I find that by admitting my biases I can come to terms with them, and I will become a better and more tolerant person. I just hope you will bear with me along this ride.

Whew! This post was incredibly long and I will sum by mentioning that eventually I will import interesting articles from my other blog. In the meantime, go vote for your favorite mommy blogs at Circle of Moms.