Crafting a Shared Pagan Path Part 1

Part 1: Discussion and Communication

My fiancé is a recent devotee of the Path. He made the decision over a year ago to explore, and recently decided on the term he'd liked to be called. He has begun reading the myths and stories of the old gods, as well as modern literature on pagan practice. He is exploring the Northern Tradition, though he does not consider himself Asatru, and does not feel it is his path at this time. This means he worships Germanic deities exclusively, recognizing the existence of all gods and holds the same pagan-gnostic principle that I do: while each god is separate and distinct, at some level they are the reflections of the same force.

We have begun developing a shared path, and it has been difficult and worthwhile in many ways. This is our way of establishing a family system, a structure we can raise our children in while still allowing them the freedom of expression.

I don't know what you call me. I'm eclectic, that's for sure, and I've had a few conversations with various deities of different pantheons (Greco-Roman and Norse specifically) and I conduct my practice in much the same way I did when I was content with the "Wiccan" label. I'm not sure I care much either way what I'm called.

I'd like to spend some time with this blog talking about the development of our religious life, as separate from and a part of our more mundane relationship. To do this I will break up all the ideas in my head, focusing on one or two subjects at a time. This time I'd like to focus on the importance of communication.

You absolutely cannot have a relationship that is healthy of any kind without communication. Communication is the only way you can let each other know what is working and what is not working. This can be difficult when you're working with your partner, because you don't want to offend them or hurt them.

Ask questions. Ask your partner to share what spiritual experiences with you they will. Ask them about their thoughts on issues related to morality, ethics, theology, practice, etc. Learn where your ideas meet and where they differ. Talk about these.

Through asking questions you can come to a decision together about when you will worship together, how you will worship together, who you will worship, and work together to establish a ritual structure that is meaningful to both of you.

Communication helps establish boundaries as well. Will you share all your spiritual experiences? Will you share a Book of Shadows/magical journal (if applicable)? Will you each have separate ones and one joint one? Who will write rituals? Who will lead rituals? When will you worship together, and when will you worship individually?

It is important to have moments of private worship, reflection, meditation, whatever helps you to feel spiritual. You are a person separate from your partner, and just as you need mundane time apart on occasion you need spiritual time apart as well.

Through discussion, my partner and I have:

1. Established which holidays we will celebrate. This means the standard Wheel of Eight, for me, the full moons, and other holidays he explores that have meanign for him.

2. Established ritual work. We use the Wiccan structure in general. I act as teacher, at this moment, and it is what I am most comfortable with. We include that which is important to him, including sacrifice/gift-exchange, blot/sumbel, toasting, etc.

3. We write rituals together. He wants to learn how I do it, and I want him to feel comfortable eventually writing his own. We work together to determine readings and other important aspects of ritual.

4. He happily takes the role commonly assigned to the H.P.

5. Determined we enjoy the presence of friends and other interested parties.

6. Have decided together who we will be out-of-the-broom closet with, and how we will answer questions together.

7. Established that on occasion there will be individual experiences and worship times and we do not require or intrude on privacy. If we want to share, we will share, and there is no prying (though honestly there's very little we don't share).

8. Often teach each other things the other does not know.

So, in a nutshell, communication is very important before even getting into the details of all that goes into establishing a shared path. When one partner, like myself, finds themselves in the position of teacher, it is a fair bit easier to set structure. It is important to remember the other person will have their own experiences, and open-mindedness is key.

Talk to each other. Everything else will flow from there.

Next post should be a review of Michelle Belanger's book "The Ghost Hunter's Survival Guide"

Book review: Tarot for Writers

Tarot for Writers by Corrine Kenner

I picked up this book since I have been suffering from a severe creative block; I thought, "what can it hurt?" I paid $9.99 for the Kindle version. I have been writing for the two decades I've been able to hold a pencil, and I have taken creative writing courses in college. The books for these classes are invariably of the self-promoting kind, which have done nothing but bore me tears and contributed in large part to my creative blocks.

Summary:

The book is a guide for writers about how to use tarot to create, flesh out, and write. The focus on the book is on novels or short stories, and many of the spreads are designed to help create character and establish plot. There is a section of the book which lists various archetypes and meanings. I must note that these are not entirely accurate according to either Jung or Campbell but were interesting nonetheless. The book is divided into three parts. The first is the basics of tarot reading, simple history, the usual stuff. This section takes up about half the book. Section two is dedicated to spreads and writing prompts dealing with the cards themselves. Section three is the part that actually contains the writer's interpretations of the cards (e.g. the little white book).

Pros:

Provides information about the cards so that inexperienced readers or those who have no experience with tarot can get a basic gist. Includes interesting spreads to help you in character creation, plot, storylines, environment, that sort of thing. Interesting way to use the tarot; I had never thought about this until seeing the title of the book and reading the free trial of the book. Does not burden the reader with unnecessary, self-promoting discussion of writing techniques like so many other books have done.

Cons:

Writing prompts are less than creative, but I've found most prompts contained in various how-to-write books are this way. Most of the information on the cards themselves is for the novice tarotist. I still found the material in the rest of the book to be helpful and interesting. I simply skimmed the sections that were irrelevant or that I already knew. Very simple in design, does not discuss writing techniques themselves, so if that is what you are looking for you won't find them here.

Conclusion:

I actually ended up using a spread randomly to help me flesh out the plot. I used one of the spreads to draft a story idea. My imagination was able to run from there. I've dived into the book since then, and I have really enjoyed it.

I would recommend this book, despite what other users on Amazon and other places have said. It is simple, straight forward. Sometimes all we need is something simple, something we love and are familiar with to help us get passed the creative blocks. This book was that for me. I have not yet read it entirely from cover to cover, but the beauty of it is that you can bounce around from section to section, and read about whatever interests you at the moment.

I would give this book an overall 4/5, because while it was useful for me, I do recognize that individual responses and needs will vary. If nothing else, it is interesting and thought-provoking.

More questions? Shoot me an email or comment.

Mabon/Winter Finding/Autumn Equinox

We celebrated our first holiday with my fiancé- a mostly-out-of-the-broom-closet pagan. He's been exploring and learning about the Northern Tradition. It's very interesting, learning with him and how to make our two paths work and meet to form something we can both celebrate and enjoy.

I finally decided I no longer care whether I am called Wiccan or not. Labels don't mean anything to me, and I've happily accepted much if not most of my structure comes from Wicca. I'm a eclectic at heart, and I simply cannot limit myself to one tradition or another or I feel stifled and lost.

We worked together to create a ritual and celebration of Mabon for me, Autumn Equinox for our non-pagan/or pagan curious guests, and Winter Finding for him.

It was a lovely celebration. We had three dear friends join in. My fiancé, Mr. T, was super excited and got very into things, happily involving himself as priest of our little family circle, and even helped call the circle itself. I used it as a teaching experience, lecturing about the symbolism of the seasons, the colors, the cycle of life, death, and rebirth.

The feast consisted of homemade bread, my popular garlic butter rolls (recipe at the bottom of this post), homemade bread, and my first ever pork roast. Guests brought plenty of apples and other homemade dishes, and we all left stuffed and happy. We did a little apple divination (ask a yes or no question while twisting the apple stem). In creating the feast, I thought long and hard about whether I would be stepping on the rights of others to imbue the food with magic for health, strength, etc. I ended up simply cooking with warming herbs and other herbs related to the season, and figured the warmth and good cheer could go without saying. We would (and did) create it together.

Then we got hammered.

Homemade peach wine (divine), Jaegar, Vodka, and bitch beer do not a happy Mr. T stomach make. What happened was something neither of us understand, but he underwent a powerful psychic transformation encouraged by the booze. Mind altering substances have been used since the dawn of humanity to encourage spiritual experiences. When one's mind is free, things that need to be said are said, things needed to be felt are felt. What better time than Mabon? Perfect for an old self to die and a new one to be reborn.

This led into a new period of spirituality for the two of us. We've been consciously focusing on creating a spiritual structure for us. We've been discussing the things that make us feel as though we are in a ritual environment (as most things from incense to the Catholic priest's robes are designed to take you from that mundane world into the sacred; read Eliade for information on the sacred and profane), and that sort of thing.

We both invested in some basic ritual gear, things that made us feel "witchy". Sometimes that extra boost is all you need. He purchased a tunic of panne velvet (which I could have made but not for the price we got it) and a purple and black floor-length hooded robe for me (which again, could have made but not for the price). He also purchased his first athame.

Together, last evening, we led a private handfasting for two wonderful friends of ours. This was a potent experience for the both of us, and I hope it was for them as well. We dressed in our ritual garb, and he adorned his face with runes. I draped myself in pentacles and decided to let go and just let the experience move me.

It did.

I'm slowly overcoming the blocks I've placed for myself, and I am finding fulfillment in my path again.

As promised, my garlic-cheddar biscuits:

I recommend you serve these hot, as once they are cool they lack something. Still delicious, apparently, but I prefer them fresh from the oven.

Next post: Mrs. T's Guide to Crafting a Shared Pagan Path

Ingredients:

2 cups of flower
1-2 tbls baking powder

2 tsp sugar

1/4 tsp salt (can choose to leave out)

3/4 cup butter or margarine

1/2-1 cup milk

Garlic power, garlic salt, diced garlic.

Graded cheddar

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Mix together flower, sugar, salt, and garlic powder. If you want them more salt, use garlic salt. Play with the mixture as you practice making these to get an exact proportion you like. Add diced garlic, stir in milk and 1/2 butter. Stir until dough is well mixed and not sticky, adding flour and milk as needed. Add cheese, stir.

Place small-ish balls of dough on a cookie sheet (exact size is up to you, smaller cooks faster). Top with more cheddar and garlic if you wish, and bake for 6-8 minutes or until golden brown.

While cooking, prepare garlic butter. Melt the extra butter for the recipe, and blend in diced garlic and garlic powder/salt. When biscuits are done, remove from oven and drizzle with the garlic butter.

This recipe should make around a dozen to two dozen (can't quite recall) biscuits, depending on the size you make. Enjoy!

Children who Dabble

I cannot count the number of times I have heard stories about teenagers and children dabbling in the occult that had "demonic experiences", later used as excuses for doing or not doing certain things. I've thought long and hard about this, and I have a theory. Let me begin with a story.

[edited for privacy; story involves demons summoning via ouija]

I have never, in all the 10+ years I have been involved in such activities, encountered a demon, had anything violent or negative summoned from a Ouija board or other talking board. Frankly, I've never bothered with trying to contact anything like that either. The worst that's ever happened is a spirit appeared, called itself a demon, and when confronted with the fact it was not a demon began to swear and say nasty things to the girls (myself including) using it. Hardly a scary Anubis-demon.

Let's proceed to my theory.

What is a Ouija board?

There is a great deal of information on talking boards if one wants to look. What follows is my experience. Ouija boards and other such tools act as gateways. The inexperienced user does not have the necessary skill to control what comes through. Any tool can be used like this, whether tarot, runes, or spirit board. With a weak mind and inexperience, you cannot control what happens.

This is of course presuming innocent curiosity. Should the noob attempt to use such a tool with the intent to summon something nasty, there are two things that can happen: either they will succeed (highly unlikely), or they will be so afraid they'll imagine it happening. Think of it like this: you have been raised an extremist Mormon. You have been taught these things will open doors. You will associate any experience with Satan. This will lead to demons. You saw a demon at the foot of your bed.

Why do children dabble?

Children dabble because of curiosity, because of rebellion, because of peer pressure. Whether it is magic, tarot, or Ouija boards, some children are just willing to explore. Children raised to believe that these things are inherently evil or open doorways to evil will interpret all experiences in this way. Imagination will take over, and suddenly everything from Satan himself to Jesus will appear.

Why do children seem to have worse experiences than adults?

In anthropology we have the concept of the "liminal" state. This is a state between states, where you are not quite apart of either world/ state of being and are in-between. During the period of say, a rite of passage, the initiate is no longer a child but is not yet an adult. Modern American society doesn't have rites of passage as a whole any longer. We are not taught the mysteries and secrets from one phase of life to the next. This leaves us with a hunger, and many children, stuck in the liminal state that is puberty, are looking for ways to sate it. Someone in this type of state is incredibly open to spiritual forces, both positive and negative and without proper framework and guidance can find themselves in all sorts of predicaments if they dabble. Think about poltergeists: often occur around prepubescent children and tend to disappear when they grow older. Puberty is a fascinating spiritual time.

I was taught tarot from childhood. I have always been taught how to discern what was good from what was bad, and the training (albeit unofficial training) kept me safe. Most children do not have this.

Adults are resistant to anything new, whether a new language or something spiritual. An adult using a Ouija for the first time with few, if any, preconceived notions will be less likely than a teenager to experience something at all with these kinds of tools. An adult racked with guilt at using something like this, will experience things and they will likely be bad.

Why do people see demons or gods from other religions?

In the case of my friend, he was likely taught (as most Christians and Mormons are) that the gods of other religions are demons; don't you think if you'd been reading or learning about other deities your subconscious training from your religious tradition would have them appear in the most frightening forms possible? Why this particular god? Perhaps if there was an entity that visited it sensed fear and decided to exploit that fear and appeared in the form it knew would frighten him. It is possible that the god *** himself showed up, perhaps as a warning in dabbling with the dead or for protection, and the boy interpreted his presence as evil and something to be feared. Perhaps as an adult he simply saw an image which made sense to him and projected that onto the past. When confronted with the obvious falseness had to create something else or his experience would mean nothing. Or perhaps he invented the entire thing, to explain his fear and guilt or just to get attention.

What about teens who experience good things?

Well these stories are fewer and far between among children not raised in households that do not fear or mistrust these types of tools. I imagine that the children who dabble and receive good experiences probably were not seeking something dark, and had good intentions. They may have subconsciously known what to do to protect themselves.

Conclusions:

All tools are neutral. If your intent is to conjure up something evil, you will. If you are afraid, that fear will exploit you and you will imagine negative things happening, or things that happen will be interpreted in a negative context. Ignorance breeds fear: educate yourself before using any tool. If you are from a religious traditions that emphasizes fear, the power of evil (especially through such tools) do us all a favor and don't dabble okay? You're giving the rest of us a bad name.

Back to my friend…

If it is not false, this young man dabbled in something he shouldn't have, without proper education and without knowledge. His ignorance (while not entirely his fault of course) led to misinterpretation of the experience, and in his present context he sees it as the god of another religion.This does not mean I don't love him, and doesn't mean I don't believe he experienced something. I do believe he did. I just do not believe it happened the way he remembers it, and I do believe some misinterpretation happened. I am sorry he feels such fear, and I wish there was something I could do to ease it.

Most teenagers engaging in these types of behaviors or running around calling themselves Satanists are ignorant. They don't know what they're exploring, what they're talking about, or even what the basic tenets of the religion the claim to follow are. What can we call a dark fluffer? A Fluffy Bat?

It takes ceremonial magicians years and years of training and study to summon demons. What evidence is there that a child with no training at all could do so intentionally? I do not believe in demons, but I believe there are negative entities that will exploit fear and will do so in the most efficient form, which for dabbling Christian children is usually demonic.

Don't dabble in things in which you have education. If you're going to dabble, protect yourself and learn all you can about whatever it is you're exploring.

The urban legends and silly stories about demonic encounters with magic, tarot, and Ouija boards especially will probably never end. The least we can do is attempt to refute and educate.

Pagan Wedding Planning: Making a Witchy Dress

So my dress is far from witchy, but it's quite fairy tale-esque.

So how can you bring witchy/pagan elements into a relatively "normal" wedding dress? Here are a few things I'm considering:

1. Blessing Spells: Since I won't be performing spells or obvious ritual work at the wedding itself, I plan on doing some similar spells and rituals on my dress. If you choose to do something like this just be sure to keep away anything that could stain or damage the dress in anyway far away from it.

2. Charms: I'm also considering sewing charms into the dress. This could be either literal jewelry charms or the spell kind, stitched into the dress in either obvious or not so obvious places, like the underskirt. If I do this, I will probably put runes to match our handfasting cords.

3. Jewelry: This is more easily done. A little pentacle necklace or carefully chosen stone can give the right elements. I would like to wear a circlet, I think, with Celtic knotwork.

I think anything chosen with intent can serve a magical or witchy purpose.

Talk to Your Plants

My grandmother taught me to talk to your plants. She said it makes them stronger and happier, and that a plant that hears too much fighting or sadness will not grow. I sing to my plants; I give them names and talk to them. They swell with growth quickly, and handle repotting better than plants I haven't chatted with. Plants have energies like people do; they can feel, they respond. Take time to get to know the energies of your houseplants, and learn how they affect your energy and the energy of your home.

There is little conclusive evidence for the affects of voices and music on plants. Some studies have found little to no difference, others have found great difference. In my biology class a few semesters ago, my fiancé and I subjected three plants to different forms of music. One plant was forced to listen to Christian music for hours at a time, one plant was forced to listen to Ozzy, one listened to nothing at all. The Ozzy plant bloomed soonest, and the Christian plant died after only three weeks from sprouting. The neutral plant was slightly smaller than the Ozzy plant. Whether there is anything more to this project, I don't know. I do find it hilarious that the Jesus music killed my plant.

My mother's chemical free pesticide:

Mix a few teaspoons of Dawn dish detergent into a spray bottle with water (you may also add vinegar). The mixture repels aphids and prevents gnats from eating at your plants.

My Grandmother's Garlic Trick:

Plant garlic cloves near your garden to keep root-eating pests and mosquitoes away. Garlic flowers are also very beautiful in their own right- beauty and function!

Oh, and I have an aloe plant named Cthulhu.

Things My Cats Teach Me

It is pretty much established that I am going to end up a crazy cat lady, and I'm only a few cats shy of that as it is. The neighborhood cats know there will always be a bowl of food for them on my porch, and even the practically feral strays feel safe enough to rest on my porch in the rain. My own kitties are decidedly odd.

My large black cat, a boy named Athena, can't decide if he is a dog or a human. He is overly friendly, curious, talkative, and loveable. He is the first cat I encountered that lets just about any visitor pet his tummy, and he gets quite irritated when they stop or when they don't greet him upon arrival. He's also the size of a small dog.

My Loki is a pound kitty I adopted as a kitten on a whim, which may have been an irresponsible thing to do. He is huge, fat, and is intermittently shy and afraid of everything and friendly and cuddly. He doesn't like to meow much and likes to stare at you with his large blue eyes. We often joke there isn't much going on in that head of his, but when he looks at you, you feel it, and you can't help but giggle a little.

Caesar is another adoptee, the kitten of Athena's littermate. He is a flame point Siamese with an attitude problem. He is far too smart for his own good, and can't decide if he likes being petted or not.

My strays are Frankie Four Paws (another flame point), Red (an orange and white tabby), and Miss (a tortie who is always pregnant).

All these animals have taught me very interesting lessons about life and the way I approach the world. Before I get into this, allow me to discuss the ethics of responsible pet ownership:

All pets should be spayed or neutered unless you are breeding the animal. This prevents more unwanted animals from being born and unable to find families. It also prevents unwanted animals sniffing around your property for your fertile female and your male from running off to find your neighbor's female.

Never adopt, no matter how good your intentions are, more animals than you can afford to properly care for, in regards to food and veterinary care. It also applies to your time too- if you cannot physically handle the care of the pets, do not have the pets or more than you can devote your time and energy too.

Never adopt an animal that you do not have the appropriate environment for. I would love to have a fennec fox as a pet, but my situation is not appropriate for such a pet. Also, consider other animals you own before adopting any others. If you are a renter, consider how a pet will impact your ability to find a new home in the future (something I wish we would have considered), and never adopt without your landlord's permission. I was raised to treat animals as family members- do not consider a pet to be something you can simply throw away when you decide it's time to move on. This is cruel to the animal and shows no respect for your pet.

Things my Cats Have Taught me….

1. Responsibility: As the above rant about pet ethics shows, my own cats have taught me how to be responsible and make responsible decisions. I have discovered how difficult housekeeping has become with three cats, and I know my responsibilities towards them. This extends to the rest of my life as well. I try not to take on more than I can handle, and I treat all my responsibilities with respect and care.

2. Awareness: My cats are intimately aware of their environment. They can sense changes; they respond to these changes. I trust my cats's reactions- certain people make them uncomfortable, and the same to me. Energy levels shift and change and my cats respond accordingly, raising my own awareness of the energy in my home. Nothing makes my cats happier than a nice clean house to rampage through- and you can feel the energy shift. This applies in a spiritual sense as well.

3. Adaptability: Cats aren't that great at adapting. I takes them awhile to get used to situations, but once they have made themselves comfortable, anywhere is fine for a catnap. I consider each situation carefully, and I make my environment my own. I adjust, but not too quickly, and once I have I'm comfortable and secure. I've also learned most surfaces that stay still for at least 10 minutes at a time are great places for napping.

4. Cleanliness: My cats are happiest with a clean litter box, fresh water, and a clean house to terrorize. The messier my house becomes, the more lethargic and depressed they become. My cats are fastidious cleaners (except for Loki, whose personal grooming leaves much to be desired), and they've taught me to be careful of my own appearance and the appearance of my home. A clean home and a clean spirit are welcoming.

5. Curiosity: Cats are curious to a fault, they've taught me to approach the world with wonder and joy. They've also taught me to be aware of my circumstances, and not let that curiosity get the better of me.

6. Magic: Cats are known as witch's familiars for a reason. Cats are intuitive and magical, aware of other worlds and magic. I recommend reading Ted Andrew's book "Animal Speak" for more insight into the magic of the house cat.

A cat may be a house pet, but it's predatory instincts are still there. No matter how cuddly the cat, an expert hunter lies beneath that nonchalant surface. Much is hidden in your cat; watch her, learn from her, try to understand her, and maybe you'll learn something about your own self in the process.

Miniature Book of Shadows Tutorial

You'll need:

Cardboard (thickness is up to you, but I like to use corrugated cardboard)
Glue (Elmer's white glue or glue stick, hot glue or super glue or other strong glue)
Dark tea bag, steeped (but don't burn yourself!)
Match or lighter
Water
Decorative objects (flowers, scrapbooking materials, stickers, etc)
Printed pictures
Ribbons
Decorative paper and/or fabric
Stapler or thread and needle
Scissors
Ruler
Pencil



Step 1: Creating Our Antique Pages

Use the tea to stain the white paper. You'll want to stain both sides with a tea bag, and let them dry. To lighten the color you can add more water while it's still wet, and to darken add multiple coats after the previous coats have dried. Let the paper dry thoroughly. Be sure to stain both sides of the paper and don't use until dry. While drying, proceed to the next step.



Step 2: The cover

Cut a rectangular piece of cardboard to the dimensions you need.
For a 42 cm doll I used a piece of cardboard about 6"x3" give or take. This makes a book about the same finished size as the ones in this tutorial. You will want to leave a few centimeters in the middle to form the book's spine and so you have a place to add your pages. Fold the sides of the cardboard down to make a crease, leaving a bit of space for the spine. The larger your spine the more pages your book will hold.




Step 3: Decorate cover, add book marks

This is where your gluegun or other strong glue comes in. Cut a bit of fabric or paper to be slightly larger than your cardboard. Glue the edges of the fabric all the way around, and let it dry. After it is dry, cut some strips of ribbon several inches long (they may look too long but when all your pages are in there very little will hang over the edge). You can finish the edges so they don't fray if you want. Glue one end of the ribbon onto the spine of the book to create some book marks.





Step 4: Antiquing the Pages

Your tea-stained paper dry? Awesome. At this point you will want to measure out rectangle slightly smaller than your book (you can choose to make them larger and hang out the edge if you'd like). Cut out and make several stacks of these rectangles. You can crinkle the paper, tear it, or do whatever you want to it before burning.

Next, get your match or lighter with your water handy, and light the edges of the pages on fire, and otherwise add burn marks and scorch marks for an aged look. You don't want them to burn too long or your pages will deteriorate. The idea is to go for a slightly worn look, not a tossed-in-a-bonfire look. Warning: it is very easy for flames to get out of control! Always keep water or a fire extinguisher handy just in case, and be sure there is nothing flammable near your burn space. If you are a kid or unsure if you can do this, have an adult do it for you. Be sure to get parental permission!

Fold the rectangles in half and set them in the book (don't glue them in just yet!) this is just to see how thick you want the book to be and still be able to close. Once you see how many stacks it will take to make your book the thickness that you want, keeping in mind any extras you put in to decorate will make the book thicker, staple or stitch the packets.

Step 5: Place pages in the book

For this step, add a line of hot glue or your strong glue to the spine of each packet and hold them into the book's spine until dry. Continue adding the packets as you need. Be sure to keep the ribbons above the book so they don't get glued behind the pages! Trim any excess from the outside of the book, and make sure things are nice and even and dry.



Step 6: Decorate the book

This is the fun part and entirely dependant on your imagination! What I did was look around online for neat-looking pages, like sheet music or book of shadows pages, and size them in Photoshop, but you can use paint and word. You can make your own, but I didn't for this tutorial. Print these, cut them out, and use your Elmer's glue or other glue to place them onto the individual pages (make sure not to use hot glue for this part or the pages will be bumpy and thick).

From this point, it's up to you. You can glue tiny cards and flowers, add stickers or other scrapbook supplies, add your own sketches or writing into the book, whatever you'd like. If you want to work with a theme or organize your book decide on that before you start gluing things in. Make sure as you work on individual pages that you leave room for the pages to dry or they will glue together with all your little details stuck between them and possibly getting ruined.



Step 7: Adding a Closure

If your book is thick or you simply want a closure for your book, glue some ribbon or matching fabric in a little strip to the back of the book. Stitch or glue a snap to the cover and the other end of the ribbon, let it dry, and voila! Closure. Alternatively, simply glue a really long ribbon to the back and wrap it around the book to close.

The sky is the limit and you can use this tutorial to make many different kinds of little books. As a bit of advice, when reducing image size, increase the pixel resolution to make the images clearer.



I hope this all makes sense! If you need more photos or details or whatnot, post a comment!

Relationship Evangelism, and What to do with your Non-pagan In-laws

I learned this week exactly what my fiance's family thinks of me, and I am hardly surprised. To begin, this is his father's side of the family, die-hard Mormon, very traditional, very anti-anything different. (His mother's side loves me.)

The extended family views me as dangerous, a witch (which is not entirely false but their perception of it is), and that the MIL and FIL shouldn't allow the little girls (fiance's sisters) to spend they night with us, because I will corrupt them. I'm also apparently creepy because I hang around in graveyards (and I have a few pics of me in them). I learned all this about three days before we were supposed to go visit them in Nevada for four days. Fortunately, fate saw to it the car broke down and the trip was cancelled.

Fiance also came out to his mother this same week. He told her is not Mormon, so she asked what he was. He told her was Norse pagan, and said he worships old gods. She cried and basically said that if at any point she thought he was into something dangerous, she'd cut him out of her life. Just like that. She then asked if it was because of me.

The fact of the matter is, no matter what happens in the near future, his family will always blame me for him leaving the Mormon church. They blamed me for convincing him to move in with me, when in fact it was his idea (he cleared this up, fortunately). They will always see me as a corruptive force, no matter how much they may like me as a person. He has stood up to his father when he called me an atheist, and I have no doubt he will support me should his family overstep their bounds.

Relationship evangelism- it happens:

No, I did not set out to convert my fiance to paganism. Like many people of various religious persuasions, I often thought it would be nice to share my faith with someone, to build a family tradition around. I wish I could say I'd never tried a little pagan style evangelism, but I did.

It began with a critical discussion of the LDS church. Once my fiancé double-checked my facts and data, his worldview underwent a radical shift, and he began to learn and study all he could about Mormonism, finally deciding to leave it for good. He still considered himself Christian, and we had no issues or problems. Then he began to ask me questions about my faith, and I answered him.

As you live and grow with a person, you cannot help but pick up certain traits and habits and develop new ones together. Religiosity is much the same- stay with someone long enough and you'll pick up a few quirks here and there.

Does this constitute evangelism? To a degree I did intentionally plant the seeds of doubt in a mind that already questioned but admitted he was too afraid to question. He says I was the support he needed to feel strong and brave, and that because of me he has found his walk.

Is it relationship evangelism to talk, to seek, to grow together, to provide the answers the other one asks for? Perhaps. But did I enter in to this relationship with the intention of converting him? No, I most certainly did not. Religion was never an issue for me, or for him.

They are afraid of my intermittent dark clothing choices, my love of ouija and tarot and cemetery walks; they'll never understand my doll collecting or my quirkiness, and that's fine. My only wish is that they will take the time to come to know me as a person, and perhaps find some way to overlook the labels and all the baggage that has been placed on me by those labels. Maybe they'll even like me.

So, here are some points to share with non-pagan in-laws:

You don't need to be afraid of us.

1. Pagans do not worship Satan (we do not believe he exists outside of the Christian religion).

2. We do not condone, encourage, or engage in abuse of any kind: this includes animal abuse, sacrifice, and slaughter, human abuse, sacrifice and slaughter, and sexual abuse, humiliation, or misconduct of any kind. Any pagan engaging in such practices is most certainly a nutcase, and not a pagan.

3. When your pagan inlaw refers to themselves as pagan, they may mean: Asatru, Wiccan, witch, neo-pagan, eclectic pagan, etc. Each pagan will believe differently, and most love to answer questions and point you to proper resources.

4. A pagan who practices magic or tarot or other sort of magical or divinatory practice does not do so with the intent to gain power or control others.

5. Pagans have ethics too. They believe that morals and ethics are relative, and each tradition will have it's own ethics (for example, we of the Northern persuasion believe in honor, hospitability, hard work, loyalty, family, etc).

6. A pagan believes in God, and probably a lot of them (though they could be atheistic, but this is less common).

7. Pagans are not set to destroy Christianity or related religions, nor are they set to bring about the end of American society. Most pagans are simply pluralists, who believe all religions and people should have equal rights, regardless of label.

8. Always, always ask questions.

9. Read as much as you can, but from neutral sources first (Christian sources notoriously misrepresent paganism with lies and false stories of their conversions from paganism; these have been routinely proven false.)

And one last post! Here's a link to the most awesome bride site ever, particularly a search for handfastings/hand-binding for inspiration.

http://offbeatbride.com/tag/handfasting

What's in a Cauldron?

One of my favorite things about my witchy activities is finding excuses to use my mortar and pestle and my cauldron. I love them. They make me feel witchy. I was not, however, willing to spend $30+ on Amazon.com for a cauldron that was 3" with a little pentacle on the side, cute as it was. It seems the bigger they get, the more expensive they get!

Then I discovered a secret....a cauldron is nothing more than a dutch oven cooking pot, cast iron and, most importantly, fireproof! Check out the prices per size anywhere you can purchase dutch ovens. I found mine at Cal Ranch, and I paid $12 plus tax for my 4.5" wide almost 3" deep desert dutch oven.

For example:

This 8qt, 20lb dutch oven for $58, versus this 7" $75 witchy cauldron.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00008GKDW/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=B000JZZIKI&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=0Z67Q8GVD3WS4H5QP8NY

http://www.amazon.com/Large-Pentagram-Cast-Iron-Cauldron/dp/B001BZKCVK/ref=sr_1_5?s=home-garden&ie=UTF8&qid=1308862410&sr=1-5

Be sure to look around and use smart shopping and price comparisons-- the example above is really not all that extreme. The cauldrons marketed at pagans and witches are generally two to three times higher in price than a larger cast iron dutch oven, when both are good for spellwork and one even doubles as a cooking utensil, which is what cauldrons were used for back in the old days, don't forget.

Our First Midsummer

On June 21st, my almost-husband and I celebrated our first Midsummer as a family coven. We worked together to craft something that draws from both our faiths (my Wiccan-esque eclecticism and his Asatru) and was unique and meaningful. The most meaningful thing we did was the Oath Making. We passed a glass of Mike's Hard Lemonade (mostly because we aren't wine fans) and made promises to one another, promises to grow in our relationship and our spirituality, to learn from the past and move forward into our new life. We promised to love ourselves and always do our best for one another.

The Midsummer for us was a chance to take stock of our lives, to recognize what we have and what we have accomplished. As we head towards the darker, colder months, we must always remember that we have each other, that there is light and hope no matter how bleak things may seem. This was especially important to us this year, as we dealt with my being disowned by my family and the betrayal of a very dear old friend. We will move forward in honor, in truth, and in love despite the negativity. In Llewellyn's Sabbats Almanac this year there is a wonderful piece on the Norse gods, particularly Tyr and Sunna, and I definitely recommend reading it if you haven't already.

It was also a time for us to think of our plans for next Midsummer, the day we plan on wedding. It is fitting that the focus on preventing negativity comes during such an emotional time as wedding planning. I find myself worried and increasingly superficial about some details of the wedding business, and one my goals for the rest of the year is to conquer this. In a year, we will be husband and wife.

The Future Mrs T's Midsummer Potpourri Recipe:

The following recipe uses the term "parts" to mean whatever base measurement you want. For this measurement I used teaspoons. Note that you can burn this, and I did so in my little cauldron. They gave off a very nice scent, and not entirely potent. My whole house smelled wonderful for several hours after. Be sure to crush/bruise each ingredient with your mortar and pestle, and mix together afterward.

1 Part Chamomile (flowers preferably, but I used dried tea)
1 Part Rose (flowers, not oil)
2 Parts Lavender (bruise this so it gives off a stronger scent)
1 Part Mugwort

The Future Mrs T's Cleansing and Joy-Inducing Potpourri:

The following recipe uses the term "parts" to mean whatever base measurement you want. For this measurement I used teaspoons. Note that you can burn this, and I did so in my little cauldron. They gave off a very nice scent, and not entirely potent. My whole house smelled wonderful for several hours after. Be sure to crush/bruise each ingredient with your mortar and pestle, and mix together afterward.

1-2 Bay leaves
1 part cloves (don't use the oil if you can help it; clove oil is very expensive)
1 part chamomile (flowers preferably, but I used tea for this one too)
1/2 part basil
1 part Valerian (Valerian is very, very stinky, but the stink is washed out by the rose and lavender)
1 part rosemary

Blend all the ingredients together in an appropriately sized bowl, and then add to a small sachet or other little bag to store. Be sure to label what they are so you don't forget over time.

Wishing Stones:
In the afore mentioned Sabbats Almanac, they offered a great idea called wishing stones. You hold a stone, walk around the fire whispering your wish to the stone, and toss it into the fire. We plan on incorporating a version of this into our reception next year.


The next post to follow will be a crafty post, on how to make a miniature spellbook/Book of Shadows.

Don't forget to check out the Pagan Mom Blog and the 30 Days of Deity project. It's sure to be something really impressive!

And in perfect timing to my post on hospitality, Mrs. B has posted this lovely piece on Hestia/Vesta:

http://www.confessionsofapagansoccermom.com/2011/06/domestic-witchery-hestia-101.html

Pay a visit

Pay a visit to
http://www.thepaganmomblog.com.

She will be running a guest post from different authors on her blog for the month of July. Yours truly has a piece on Odin.

Bless!

On Hospitality

From the Havamal:
I give you rede Loddf fnir--- heed it well!
You will use it if you learn it,
it will get you good if you understand it.
Do not abuse a guest--- or drive him out the door.
Instead do well for the wretched.

What led to this post was an encounter with an old friend a few evenings ago that prompted me to question the idea of hospitality. This old friend is staunch LDS, married to a sort of jack Mormon (a term they use to describe someone who doesn't always do as they are supposed to). She has children who are smart and quite cute. The old friend was never a person I'd consider a best friend but rather an enjoyable acquaintance. She liked to invite people from our old circle of friends to different little get-to-togethers and always wondered why I did not attend. I have told her many times before that as long as my ex (who once proposed to me and I had to decline) would be there, I would not. It is cruel and rude to subject my ex (still in love with me) to be in the same room as my future husband, and it would make me uncomfortable as well. I never meant it as a personal insult against her by any stretch.

This time, she wanted it to be only my fiancé and myself. We obliged and joined for the evening which turned out to be quite awkward. The color scheme of her home was mostly muted tans and creams, and the only picture I noticed in the living room was the typical portrait of Jesus, you know, the one all blonde and blue-eyed? This is where the hospitality issue comes in: not once did she ask if we wanted a drink or a place to sit. Not once did she ask how our lives had been going. She didn't walk us to the door when we left, nothing. It felt very awkward (which it never has before) and crowded. We lasted about an hour before we found a polite excuse to leave, and were forced to stumble in the dark through a minefield of garden hoses, tools, and toys.

I first wondered if this was a Mormon thing, or is hospitality is regional-culturally specific (northern vs. southern hospitality for example) so I took it to the Mormons. They say there is no religious motivation to be hospitable, which is not unique to Mormons. It seems as though it has a great deal with how one is raised, and this is reflective of modern society's emphasis on the self and one's personal needs. This is turn leads to the selfish sort of entitlement issues they seem to have, affecting everything from basic manners (notice no one says excuse me anymore, or how no one bothers to look before changing lanes?) to the deeper spiritual "manners" (i.e. tolerance and respect). Lack of hospitality, in my opinion, is equivalent to a lack of respect for your guests. One Mormon spoke of Martha, who, while a hospitable hostess, was not valued as much as her sister who was not a fair hostess, but was more devout. The Pagan (though this may not be a general Pagan sentiment) view is that hospitality is a way of showing one's devotion to one's religion, by respecting one's friends and family.

It seems as though people in general have different views of etiquette and what is hospitable and what is not. Few are motivated spiritually to show hospitality.

But what is hospitality?

Hospitality is about showing respect, appreciation, and friendship for your guests. It is about opening your home and allowing these guests to feel at home there. Just because an event is casual or with frequent visitors does not mean one can slack on host/ess duties. Hospitality is about creating a place where others feel welcomed and comfortable. It is about creating an extended family of people who care for one another.

Hospitality means more than simply showing respect for your guest and being a gracious hostess. Hospitality means showing respect and courtesy to everyone you meet. In these days where it is no longer safe to allow strangers into your home, hospitality has changed. It still shows that one recognizes that we belong to a community, and by treating others with kindness and respect we help foster a better community.

It took me some time to realize that my future husband and I truly live this virtue and pride ourselves on it. At first, we felt we were just being polite. Didn't everyone do this? At what point does simple courtesy become hospitality? Does it depend on how one is raised? I was always taught to take care of one's guests, regardless of the comfort level of the guest.
1. Ask the guest if you can take their coat/hat/purse, etc and offer them a seat.
2. See if they would like something to eat or drink. (If the guest is a close friend or someone who visits frequently it becomes a "help yourself to anything in the kitchen" sort of thing.)
3. If the evening is not already planned in advance, ask what they would like to do.
4. Ask about the guest's life, express genuine care and concern for the events in their lives.
5. When it is time to leave, escort the guest to the door (and if there is no porch light offer a flashlight), and thank them for the evening.

I have a small apartment, filled with too many books and too many cats, walls covered in art and photographs and color. My home is small, but many, many guests have told me how roomy it feels, how open everything is, and how welcome the atmosphere is. I have guests who simply like to come and enjoy my home, to sit at my polka-dot-covered table and enjoy a cup of tea in a pink cow mug. This is not true of so many other places I have visited. My hospitality has helped to create a space that feels warm and inviting, a place where they can come to have a little fun or just to vent about their day and feel better upon leaving.

I am only a pagan housewife, but in my home we strive to show our guests how we live our path, in graciousness and respect, even for those whose views differ from our own.
By extension hospitality affects how we treat others even outside our home: with respect, tolerance, courtesy, and understanding. We view hospitality as part of what it takes to be honorable people, and to show our respect for the gods.

But I have one snarky confession: It pissed me off she wouldn't pass the Rockband mic. She fancied herself a fine singer (she's so-so), and not to toot my own horn but I'm pretty damn amazing myself. Quite irritated by this. /end snark.

Clicky links:
http://odinsvolk.ca/O.V.A.%20-%20NNV.htm#Hospitality
http://www.wandererkindred.org/ninenoble.html
http://www.lds.net/forums/general-discussion/39912-hospitality.html

The Pagan Bride: Dresses and Theme, Sneaky Weddings Ramblings

I am engaged to be married, and have been since March of this year. We wanted to choose a date with religious significance and wanted to choose a time when there wouldn't be five feet of snow. (This is Idaho, after all.) We chose the solstice, June 20, 2012 for the date. I got a head start on planning, and I've already got my dress on order. Then I started to research handfastings and started looking at the sorts of dresses other pagany, witchy, handfasting-type brides were wearing. I feel a little out of place.

This is my dress: http://api.ning.com/files/cFf8D80kB-rCVpch4PGrA22VyD6C4TaBKTYLhBRe2lpDFnLuCh*I4AlgL*XpHfKFfRO9OgVQY100ak5OoEl7KkAQKQIHwt85/weddingdress.jpg

At first glance, it appears fairly traditional (and as a member of offbeat bride I get to see lots of traditional and lots more nontraditional dresses). It's a ballgown, and it's cream. Mine will have a corset back as well as the corset-style front, and a big pink crinoline. It made me feel like a fairy queen, which works well for our Lord of the Rings/Arthurian "theme" wedding.

Many beautiful dresses I've seen pagan brides wearing for their handfastings are medieval or Renaissance inspired, with long bell sleeves and the little belts. They look like something Arwen would wear, like these:
http://www.bride1.com/gowns.php?gown_id=49&name=Katrina_Marie_Wedding_Gowns_&_Dresses
http://www.romanticgowns.com/collection/displayimage.asp?image=7614-front-b.jpg

Or they go for something gothic and neo-Victorian, or at the very least something colorful. I wonder why this is?

Not me, apparently. I dress in neo- or psuedo-Victorian clothing pretty much everyday. I wanted something different than the full skirts I already wear and love to wear. It feels different to me.

The theme really has little or nothing to do with my religion, even though fantasy and Ren-faire type themes are very popular among pagan brides (again, I wonder why). I choose it because of my love for history, for fantasy, and frankly because I wanted an excuse to wear a dreamy fairy dress. It just happens to "fit", and I'm thinking that the guests who don't know we're pagan won't see anything unusual about out ceremonies. They will only see the theme, and they'll see the handfasting and the gods as part of that theme.

On Sneaky Weddings and Possible Offense:

Recently on Offbreat Bride there was a discussion about on-the-sneak pagan weddings. The main issue was that the bride's husband, who she calls a pagan priest, will not come out of the closet yet still expects to conduct Wiccan rituals on the sneak for their wedding. One of her ideas was to trick the guests into participating in the creation of a Wiccan ritual circle by seating them in the form of the circle. This is trickery, and frankly it is offensive. No one should be cajoled, tricked, or forced into participating in a ritual by which they may be offended. She saw nothing wrong with this, and felt the circle itself was unimportant! She was convinced I was referring to the shape itself, not to the ritual aspects of her particular circle and purpose.

The fact is that simply having your guests in a circle is not offensive or trickery. But when that circle is serving a religious purpose (which in the Wiccan case is creating a sacred space in which to conduct ritual or spellwork) and involves calling the elements and other aspects of Wiccan ritual, it becomes more than a simple quirky seating choice and the guests are unwittingly donating of their personal energy to these magical act. I can think of a few people in my own life who would shit bats to find out they'd be involved in something like this. I equate it to someone taking your child to a Christian church to be baptized without your permission, or tricking you yourself into being baptized. It's disrespectful of your guests, in my opinion.

The girl brought up one interesting point. She said, "No matter what I do, I have my spirituality in it... making the big ceremonies and such a bit confusing and a headache for me, particularly when it comes to protocol with having other people there and sharing in it. For me its just life, and I don't know where to draw that line... Should I warn everyone who eats my food that I cook it with intent to heal and nourish both body and mind?"

In my opinion, simply giving someone something you have made in a magical way is different than expecting them to participate in the magical preparation of that thing, whether it is food or a necklace. This is a rather example, and one that shows she clearly does not understand the difference between participation and observation. There is a reason that the Wiccan ethics tell you not to cast spells on people without their permission- making them an amulet of protection could essentially be construed as a spell done on their behalf without their permission. It is still better than tricking them into helping you make that necklace while you concentrate on pouring magical energies into it. Pagans like this show a marked lack of respect for the feelings of others, and help to create bad stereotypes about us.

(See the full thread here: http://offbeatbride.ning.com/group/witchybrides/forum/topics/how-to-have-a-stealth-pagan)

There are ways to have subtle pagan touches to a handfasting or traditional wedding without needing to resort to trickery. A guest can appreciate the beauty of a bunch of lavender and yarrow without needing to know the spiritual significance of what you chose. You can burn and display this herb, and the guests never need participate in the ritual aspects of this- they are not burning or participating in the ritual; they are merely observing and watching. In fact, they'd probably appreciate a little bit of the folklore behind the things you are doing and using. The handfasting itself is NOT a pagan tradition. It has roots in pagan traditions, but handfastings have occurred world-over, and even Christians have used them (in Scotland they were a make-shift wedding until a priest could come make the thing official), and any reliable book or website will point this out. The handfasting is not inherently pagan, and even my staunch Catholic father had no issue, seeing reflected in my idea the Irish Knot-tying ceremony of his Catholic ancestry.

This is a good introduction to handfastings: http://www.handfasting.info/

Sometimes you have to hide your religion, and this is sad. However, there is a time and a place for everything, and a wedding is not the place to come out of the broom-closet, whether on purpose or accidentally. There are already heightened emotions, drama, and many people trying to get along in a small space. Do we really need to make these even worse than they have to be?

Please, having respect for your guests and do not trick them. If you cannot be open, be wise, be respectful, and everything will fall into place. The gods won't care that you didn't name them by name. Our gods are not gods of condemnation and judgment. They understand when things must be done, and the trick is to find that healthy balance between what you want and what can/should do.

Why Paganism and magical practices are not a quest for power…and how they are.

Disclaimer: In this article I seem to be using the terms paganism and witchcraft or magical system interchangeably. This is not meant to imply they are the same thing, but rather that in the mind of our opposition that they very much are. I do fully understand and recognize that not all witches are pagans, not all pagans are witches, etc. etc. The use of gender specific phrases such as "he" or "his" is entirely unintentional and used as a literary device, nothing more.

Many times in my research and dealings with those (principally Christians, but not limited to this group) accusations fly in regards to devil worship, problems with Christianity in the past, teen rebellion, and, my favorite, the desire for power. Many nice articles have been written as rebuttals to common attacks, but I choose to focus on power for the time being. This article focuses mainly on Wiccans and those who practices witchcraft or other magical traditions.

What is power?

pow·er/ˈpouər/
Noun: The ability to do something or act in a particular way, esp. as a faculty or quality.
(http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/power)

This can be incredibly philosophical. Power is having strength, power is having the potential to exact that strength but not necessarily choosing to do so. Power means having the ability to act, to do something, but doesn't necessarily mean to use it (for good or ill). Often the quest for power is in reference to seeking control or dominance over others, but in a philosophical and political context, certainly not in a religious or spiritual one.

When Christians accuse pagans and witches of seeking after power, they show a marked lack of understanding for what both power and the pagan ways really are. They show a fear of political upset, of a shift in power from one where there is an ultimate, kingly, divine authority to one in which that authority is not so easily defined. For the Christian, his religion is one of supplication to his god. It is the relationship of an average citizen to a king, one in which the lines of power are clearly drawn.

Control
–verb (used with object)
1. to exercise restraint or direction over; dominate; command.
(http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/control)

In the Christian mind, when he or she accuses the pagan or witch of lusting after power, what he really means is control, in the negative sense, of seeking to use power to control or influence others. And in one sense they are right. Spells are often done to encourage peace between others, and sometimes to manipulate others. So yes, this accusation can be true. However, this is a superficial understanding. Magic is rarely the entire focus of a path, and in fact we are often encouraged to focus on mundane methods first before turning to magical ones. We are asking the divine, in whatever form we view it, to assist on our behalf. It is the same as a prayer, it is the same as smearing lamb's blood across a door to tell an angry god not to kill you.

Power and control often go hand in hand, both negatively and positively. Many Pagans will use both power and control in taking command of their own lives in recognizing their responsibility. Paganism is about responsibility, not controlling others.

Power in the Pagan context means recognizing that each action we take, each decision we make, has consequences. Power means that you must realize that you will face the consequences of what you choose. Power means having control over the self, of being able to stand up for oneself, of being able to choose between what is right and wrong in the individual's context.

Paganism itself is not a quest for power, no more than Christianity is a quest for a Ferrari and a megachurch. A religion or a philosophy cannot be blamed for one person's greed; Pagan religions are first and foremost about taking responsibility and recognizing the power already contained within, and recognizing the power we have to shape our lives based on the choices we make and the consequences of those choices. Just as we cannot assume that all witches are using magical forces for purposes of gaining control over others we cannot assume that all Christians are using religious forces to gain power and control over others, though politically it is the Christians who are attempting to do just that. I've always said it is the loud-mouthed minority that gives the rest of us a bad name. That is true of any religion, and even we pagans have our extremists.

Certainly someone, somewhere is indeed motivated by a drive for power, however they define it. It is unfair to assume that even the majority of those who walk a pagan path or practice a magical tradition such as witchcraft of being motivated solely by this quest.

Power and the Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll accusation: Connections Between Helplessness and the Need for Control

It is my opinion that those who level charges of power hunger at Wiccans and other pagans are doing so because of a misunderstanding of the differences between power and control. Many "ex-Wiccans" claim that the further they delved into magical practices the further downward their lives spiraled into a vicious cycle of unhealthy promiscuity and drug use. Many times they see Jesus as the figure who not only saves them from these dark roads and by extension, paganism. People, in this case Christians, fear their loss of self-control, and attribute it to their involvement with whatever stripe of occultism they found themselves in. This is a false connection, one not based on fact. In reality, drug use is symptomatic of other issues, often depression. They want to feel good, to feel better than they do right now, and they see drugs and sex as the vehicle to attain this feel-good sensation. During the weaker times in a person's life, he or she may find themselves turning to a drug in response to dissatisfaction from something in their lives. Religion, for many, is a drug. A fanatic will always be a fanatic regardless of what religion s/he claims to follow.

In a way one can see how the Christians are coming to their conclusion that Wicca and paganism are the same as these drugs, inducing a feel-good feeling and a sense of control over ones life. This is not the case. At the philosophical level, paganism is about self-control, of reaching within the self for control and for realization without the dependence on external mediums; real strength comes from within, not without. Wicca and paganism work on a paradigm built around self-control and self-actualization, something to which a drug can often be a shortcut.

Drug use itself is a touchy subject. I will state that I do not believe in drug use, nor have I ever used a drug (this excludes of course certain medical pills that were taken according to direction and never abused; I refused Vicodin after a surgery, for example, relying on Tylenol and meditation instead). I have seen far too many lives ruined by drug abuse (and I have been the victim of a drug-abuser in the past). My paganism encourages me to seek deep within myself for the control I seek. I become empowered with the knowledge that each action I take has meaning. While some spiritual paths do use mind-altering substances to assist in spiritual development, it is not even remotely universally encouraged by any pagan tradition.

To those Christians, and anyone really, that find Wicca at the same time they discover drugs and an inner rage at society or their families or whoever, Wicca becomes the cause and the symptom. They cannot separate the religion from their own weaknesses, and thus feel justified in leveling the charges they do against us.

Pay a visit to youtube and watch some ex-witch testimonies. They always begin with a rebellion, an anger against their god. They always descend into some form of alternative culture (rock, Goth, you name it), and from there into drugs. Often this is at the same time they are discovering Wicca and working with magical forces. Eventually they attribute it all to a rebellion against god, they get help, and they promptly become evangelical Christians.

While this is a subject worth far more consideration than I have space to do so here, I hope I have at least touched on the issue and encouraged a little critical thought. In summary, take away the following points:

1. Power and control are not synonymous and not always abused

2. Pagan religions encourage self-control and self-actualizatio, and positive expressions of the power we have over ourselves through our decision-making and acceptance of responsibility. We have no Satan to blame- only ourselves.

3. Christian accusations are bound up in fears and false understandings, and by trying to understand the source of these fears in a psychological rather than religious way we can find better ways of addressing their concerns and dispelling the misunderstandings and false connections.

Other sources:
The National Institute of Drug Abuse http://www.nida.nih.gov/pubs/teaching/Teaching6/Teaching3.html

No Longer the Maiden…why I am abandoning the Triune Goddess concept.

As a teen, I proudly called myself Wiccan. As I grew older, my views changed, my path wound round in confusing knots and I eventually settled for the term "pagan". Even though I do not call myself Wiccan, I do find myself using Wiccan terminology and religious expressions in talking and writing about my own beliefs. Wicca sits well with my love of archetype, and has done wonders for creating, or at the very least raising awareness of, archetypes.

First let me address, briefly, my view of Pagan Gnosticism. I have read the Gnostic Gospels and the infamous Jesus Mysteries (the series of books about Gnosticism, mysticism and the history of Christianity), and come to this understanding: Gnosticsm implies layers of belief and increasingly complex layers of understanding. In the "Jesus Mysteries" the authors state that (and I'm paraphrasing here) that Inner Mysteries, or the deeper truths, are reserved for the religiously elite (priestly castes and religious scholars), and that the Outer Mysteries are for the rest of the population, those that either should not or cannot comprehend the deeper truths. So in this sense, it is both true that the gods are separate and distinct personalities but also true that they are reflections of a larger divine force. Both ideas seem to be conflicting (hard vs. soft polytheism for example), but the Pagan Gnostic realizes that they aren't conflicting, and would further assert that it is also true that the deities themselves are merely metaphorical. All three of these truths are simultaneously true and valid. I will address Pagan Gnosticism in a later post.

So, while I no longer consider myself Wiccan I find their ideas and terms work well for me (privately, socially, and politically). I am a Pagan Gnostic in that I do not worship The Goddess, but many goddesses, yet consider all of these goddesses to be one great Goddess, but not a Triple Goddess. I used to identify with the Maiden, Mother, Crone triad, that metaphor of womanhood. This concept stands for the three major phases in the woman's life: her youth or virginal state, her adult state or state of childbearing, and her crone or post-menopausal state.

The virgin state irritates me the most. The Christian bible places a great deal of emphasis on the value of a bride in her virginal state (I will not bother to post specific verses, but please read Leviticus and "God and Sex" by Michael Coogan for an amazing scholarly study of gender roles in the bible), and the value of a woman based solely on her ability to reproduce. This virginal state is seen as optimal, and honestly contributes to the marginalization of women even today. In this virginal state, the Goddess or the woman in untamed, free, wild, pure, true to herself, innocent and strong. Then, she knows a man and gives birth. It's as if all those traits which made her desirable are gone; she is no longer free. She is captive to the cycles of nature. Many argue that the ancients did not view womanhood in the manner, yet I argue they certainly did. Read any of the ancient Grecco-Roman scholars and you will see comment after on comment on how people, particularly women, are to behave sexually. You will see an emphasis on the importance of virginity (how many maidens does Zeus and so many other gods deflower?).

The Mother is just that, the Mother. Many have begun to realize that this archetype just doesn't work anymore. We don't have sex solely for reproduction. Women are taking charge of their sexuality and expressing themselves sexually in unions different than the "typical" Judeo-Christian understanding: they aren't necessarily getting married, and they aren't necessarily having children. The idea of virgin meets man becomes mother does not work in a modern concept. I am a woman who is sexually active, mature, and capable of bearing children, although biologically I've been capable of this since I was fourteen with the onset of menstruation. Virginity and motherhood seem to be at complete odds with one another, conflicting. What do you a call woman who is no longer a virgin, no longer a little girl, but does not have children? She is that strange in-between, in a liminal stage to which the great archetype does not apply. One could argue that Aphrodite once fit this mold, sexually free, independent, and certainly no virgin (and then she has a couple godlings of her own and moves on into the next stage of life).

This is not to become a feminist rant, but rather to inquire as to why we, as modern Pagans, as sexually liberated people, continue to accept a metaphor for a life cycle which very rarely applies in our modern context. The metaphor is a simple one- the virgin is spring, the virgin is purity and beginnings- as if sex and menstruation are not pure and beginnings in and of themselves. The Crone is death, she's barrenness, she's cruelty- why is it that the postmenopausal woman must become a destroyer? Why is she necessarily wanton and harsh? In my Pagan context, these metaphors do not apply. I am not a virgin, the crones I know are not cruel as winter (and winter itself is not cruel). These speak to a past where we were ruled by the forces of nature, and this does not happen in our modern world (speaking of course of developed countries, with a respectful nod for those that aren't, and noting once again this is not a political discussion), where winter meant death and spring life.

I am abandoning the concept of the Triple Goddess. She cannot explain my life right now, where I am at, this liminal place of not-mother-not-virgin. Someday, I hope to be a mother, but even then I will not bow to a metaphor that deems my eventual menopause as destruction. I am a woman, and I will not be limited and cannot be explained by a simple archetype.

First Post!

This is my first post on my new Pagan blog, inspired in part by all the drama from the Circle of Moms contest (which I will likely comment on at some point in the near future). Let me begin by introducing myself and stating my goals for this blog.

Who am I?
I am a 24-year-old Libra, two semesters away from graduating with a BS in Anthropology, with a minor in Folklore. I'm in love with mythology and world religion, and have made it my academic specialty. I am an intern for the museum here, and spend most of my time sorting through old documents and filing them. It's less than glamorous, but I do get to hang out with skeletons and various bits and bobbles that have been excavated over the years.

I am a family tradition tarot reader and witch. Tarot reading (or some version thereof) has been in my family for several generations, and my great-great grandmother made her living summoning spirits and reading people's fortunes. Most of our witchy knowledge is tied up in superstition and folklore, of knowing without knowing, of trusting and feeling. We are naturals, born able to do what we do. Ours is a path that exists apart from religion, and we run the gamut from agnostic to Mormon. I am a Pagan, meaning that I worship ancient gods and follow these traditions as closely as possible in a modern context. I am an anthropologist, highly educated, and my path is based around my knowledge and understanding. I do not perpetuate myth and sillyness, and I always try to provide academic data and proper sourcing to back up anything I say. I have been actively walking the Pagan Path for eleven years as of this October. My fiance is a recent convert to Paganism. He was chosen by Odin and is on the road to defining what his Path is.


My own "witchy powers" are even less glamorous than my job. I am not psychic but hypersensitive. I saw ghosts as a child, and I firmly believe in the power of thought. About all I can do with any accuracy is make it rain.


I have not trained with a coven, nor do I have any intention of doing so. For a time, I studied with Sacred Mists Online Coven. Due to my inability to accept the blatant misinformation, the constant fluffy-bunny attitude, the nature of the High Priestess, and many other issues, I parted ways. I have very little good to say about Sacred Mists, but I will not slander them. I am family trained, academically educated, and I have been around. Does this make me qualified to speak on Pagan issues? I don't know. I do know that I am a Pagan, a young Pagan at a time of transition from single to wife, and eventually to mother.


My goals for this blog include providing a mature, educated youth's opinion on Pagan issues and the more mundane side of Pagan living. I want to write about interfaith issues, conversion issues, family issues, and relationship issues from a Pagan perspective. I want to write about what it is like becoming a wife, what it is like to live with your boyfriend before you are married in a Pagan context. I want to dispel the myths and misinformation that so often accompany the mention of Paganism and Wicca. I am not yet a Mother, but I am no longer a Maiden, and there has to be a place for us somewhere.

I live in the western half of the United States, nestled in the rocky mountains of Idaho. It's easy to feel close to nature here. However, like all populated places, we have our share of religious extremists. Here it is impossible to avoid Mormons (LDS, or the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints). They are the dominant religion, and are very good at singling out non-Mormons. Most of my religious discrimination experiences come not from my Bible-thumping neighbors during my homeless southern years, but from the Mormons. Some of my posting will be related to Mormonism as well as general Christianity.

I would not be being completely honest if I did not mention my bias. Let me state clearly that I respect everyone's right to believe and practice their beliefs insofar as they do not hinder the ability of anyone else to do the same, and insofar as no harm comes to anyone else in the process. This means that I do not approve of morally mandated legislature. I am not a fan of Mormonism, nor of any Abrahamic religion (particularly Christianity). I'll just put that out there. I have read the Bible from cover to cover three times, and I see nothing but hate, lies, evil, murder, torture, rape, incest, and the mistreatment of women contained in this "holy" text. The history of Christianity speaks for itself, and I do not believe there is any factual reason to believe in the authority of the Bible. It is flawed. For all its flaws there is some good contained in it, but no more than a Robert Frost poem or a Hallmark card. However, I do not hate Christianity, nor do I hate Christians. What I hate is people using their religion to further their religious agendas. Hell, I went to Catholic school and almost became a nun!

That said, I do apologize if any posts I make now or in the future come across harshly. I do strive to provide fair treatment of any subject I discuss. I respect the rights of all individuals to believe as they do, and practice as they do, but that doesn't mean I have to agree with you nor like what you believe. You can be sure that I will never berate anyone for their beliefs, and I will not resort to ad hominem attacks. I suppose it's difficult to be fair and open-minded, but I do try. I find that by admitting my biases I can come to terms with them, and I will become a better and more tolerant person. I just hope you will bear with me along this ride.

Whew! This post was incredibly long and I will sum by mentioning that eventually I will import interesting articles from my other blog. In the meantime, go vote for your favorite mommy blogs at Circle of Moms.