Mabon/Winter Finding/Autumn Equinox

We celebrated our first holiday with my fiancé- a mostly-out-of-the-broom-closet pagan. He's been exploring and learning about the Northern Tradition. It's very interesting, learning with him and how to make our two paths work and meet to form something we can both celebrate and enjoy.

I finally decided I no longer care whether I am called Wiccan or not. Labels don't mean anything to me, and I've happily accepted much if not most of my structure comes from Wicca. I'm a eclectic at heart, and I simply cannot limit myself to one tradition or another or I feel stifled and lost.

We worked together to create a ritual and celebration of Mabon for me, Autumn Equinox for our non-pagan/or pagan curious guests, and Winter Finding for him.

It was a lovely celebration. We had three dear friends join in. My fiancé, Mr. T, was super excited and got very into things, happily involving himself as priest of our little family circle, and even helped call the circle itself. I used it as a teaching experience, lecturing about the symbolism of the seasons, the colors, the cycle of life, death, and rebirth.

The feast consisted of homemade bread, my popular garlic butter rolls (recipe at the bottom of this post), homemade bread, and my first ever pork roast. Guests brought plenty of apples and other homemade dishes, and we all left stuffed and happy. We did a little apple divination (ask a yes or no question while twisting the apple stem). In creating the feast, I thought long and hard about whether I would be stepping on the rights of others to imbue the food with magic for health, strength, etc. I ended up simply cooking with warming herbs and other herbs related to the season, and figured the warmth and good cheer could go without saying. We would (and did) create it together.

Then we got hammered.

Homemade peach wine (divine), Jaegar, Vodka, and bitch beer do not a happy Mr. T stomach make. What happened was something neither of us understand, but he underwent a powerful psychic transformation encouraged by the booze. Mind altering substances have been used since the dawn of humanity to encourage spiritual experiences. When one's mind is free, things that need to be said are said, things needed to be felt are felt. What better time than Mabon? Perfect for an old self to die and a new one to be reborn.

This led into a new period of spirituality for the two of us. We've been consciously focusing on creating a spiritual structure for us. We've been discussing the things that make us feel as though we are in a ritual environment (as most things from incense to the Catholic priest's robes are designed to take you from that mundane world into the sacred; read Eliade for information on the sacred and profane), and that sort of thing.

We both invested in some basic ritual gear, things that made us feel "witchy". Sometimes that extra boost is all you need. He purchased a tunic of panne velvet (which I could have made but not for the price we got it) and a purple and black floor-length hooded robe for me (which again, could have made but not for the price). He also purchased his first athame.

Together, last evening, we led a private handfasting for two wonderful friends of ours. This was a potent experience for the both of us, and I hope it was for them as well. We dressed in our ritual garb, and he adorned his face with runes. I draped myself in pentacles and decided to let go and just let the experience move me.

It did.

I'm slowly overcoming the blocks I've placed for myself, and I am finding fulfillment in my path again.

As promised, my garlic-cheddar biscuits:

I recommend you serve these hot, as once they are cool they lack something. Still delicious, apparently, but I prefer them fresh from the oven.

Next post: Mrs. T's Guide to Crafting a Shared Pagan Path

Ingredients:

2 cups of flower
1-2 tbls baking powder

2 tsp sugar

1/4 tsp salt (can choose to leave out)

3/4 cup butter or margarine

1/2-1 cup milk

Garlic power, garlic salt, diced garlic.

Graded cheddar

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Mix together flower, sugar, salt, and garlic powder. If you want them more salt, use garlic salt. Play with the mixture as you practice making these to get an exact proportion you like. Add diced garlic, stir in milk and 1/2 butter. Stir until dough is well mixed and not sticky, adding flour and milk as needed. Add cheese, stir.

Place small-ish balls of dough on a cookie sheet (exact size is up to you, smaller cooks faster). Top with more cheddar and garlic if you wish, and bake for 6-8 minutes or until golden brown.

While cooking, prepare garlic butter. Melt the extra butter for the recipe, and blend in diced garlic and garlic powder/salt. When biscuits are done, remove from oven and drizzle with the garlic butter.

This recipe should make around a dozen to two dozen (can't quite recall) biscuits, depending on the size you make. Enjoy!

Children who Dabble

I cannot count the number of times I have heard stories about teenagers and children dabbling in the occult that had "demonic experiences", later used as excuses for doing or not doing certain things. I've thought long and hard about this, and I have a theory. Let me begin with a story.

[edited for privacy; story involves demons summoning via ouija]

I have never, in all the 10+ years I have been involved in such activities, encountered a demon, had anything violent or negative summoned from a Ouija board or other talking board. Frankly, I've never bothered with trying to contact anything like that either. The worst that's ever happened is a spirit appeared, called itself a demon, and when confronted with the fact it was not a demon began to swear and say nasty things to the girls (myself including) using it. Hardly a scary Anubis-demon.

Let's proceed to my theory.

What is a Ouija board?

There is a great deal of information on talking boards if one wants to look. What follows is my experience. Ouija boards and other such tools act as gateways. The inexperienced user does not have the necessary skill to control what comes through. Any tool can be used like this, whether tarot, runes, or spirit board. With a weak mind and inexperience, you cannot control what happens.

This is of course presuming innocent curiosity. Should the noob attempt to use such a tool with the intent to summon something nasty, there are two things that can happen: either they will succeed (highly unlikely), or they will be so afraid they'll imagine it happening. Think of it like this: you have been raised an extremist Mormon. You have been taught these things will open doors. You will associate any experience with Satan. This will lead to demons. You saw a demon at the foot of your bed.

Why do children dabble?

Children dabble because of curiosity, because of rebellion, because of peer pressure. Whether it is magic, tarot, or Ouija boards, some children are just willing to explore. Children raised to believe that these things are inherently evil or open doorways to evil will interpret all experiences in this way. Imagination will take over, and suddenly everything from Satan himself to Jesus will appear.

Why do children seem to have worse experiences than adults?

In anthropology we have the concept of the "liminal" state. This is a state between states, where you are not quite apart of either world/ state of being and are in-between. During the period of say, a rite of passage, the initiate is no longer a child but is not yet an adult. Modern American society doesn't have rites of passage as a whole any longer. We are not taught the mysteries and secrets from one phase of life to the next. This leaves us with a hunger, and many children, stuck in the liminal state that is puberty, are looking for ways to sate it. Someone in this type of state is incredibly open to spiritual forces, both positive and negative and without proper framework and guidance can find themselves in all sorts of predicaments if they dabble. Think about poltergeists: often occur around prepubescent children and tend to disappear when they grow older. Puberty is a fascinating spiritual time.

I was taught tarot from childhood. I have always been taught how to discern what was good from what was bad, and the training (albeit unofficial training) kept me safe. Most children do not have this.

Adults are resistant to anything new, whether a new language or something spiritual. An adult using a Ouija for the first time with few, if any, preconceived notions will be less likely than a teenager to experience something at all with these kinds of tools. An adult racked with guilt at using something like this, will experience things and they will likely be bad.

Why do people see demons or gods from other religions?

In the case of my friend, he was likely taught (as most Christians and Mormons are) that the gods of other religions are demons; don't you think if you'd been reading or learning about other deities your subconscious training from your religious tradition would have them appear in the most frightening forms possible? Why this particular god? Perhaps if there was an entity that visited it sensed fear and decided to exploit that fear and appeared in the form it knew would frighten him. It is possible that the god *** himself showed up, perhaps as a warning in dabbling with the dead or for protection, and the boy interpreted his presence as evil and something to be feared. Perhaps as an adult he simply saw an image which made sense to him and projected that onto the past. When confronted with the obvious falseness had to create something else or his experience would mean nothing. Or perhaps he invented the entire thing, to explain his fear and guilt or just to get attention.

What about teens who experience good things?

Well these stories are fewer and far between among children not raised in households that do not fear or mistrust these types of tools. I imagine that the children who dabble and receive good experiences probably were not seeking something dark, and had good intentions. They may have subconsciously known what to do to protect themselves.

Conclusions:

All tools are neutral. If your intent is to conjure up something evil, you will. If you are afraid, that fear will exploit you and you will imagine negative things happening, or things that happen will be interpreted in a negative context. Ignorance breeds fear: educate yourself before using any tool. If you are from a religious traditions that emphasizes fear, the power of evil (especially through such tools) do us all a favor and don't dabble okay? You're giving the rest of us a bad name.

Back to my friend…

If it is not false, this young man dabbled in something he shouldn't have, without proper education and without knowledge. His ignorance (while not entirely his fault of course) led to misinterpretation of the experience, and in his present context he sees it as the god of another religion.This does not mean I don't love him, and doesn't mean I don't believe he experienced something. I do believe he did. I just do not believe it happened the way he remembers it, and I do believe some misinterpretation happened. I am sorry he feels such fear, and I wish there was something I could do to ease it.

Most teenagers engaging in these types of behaviors or running around calling themselves Satanists are ignorant. They don't know what they're exploring, what they're talking about, or even what the basic tenets of the religion the claim to follow are. What can we call a dark fluffer? A Fluffy Bat?

It takes ceremonial magicians years and years of training and study to summon demons. What evidence is there that a child with no training at all could do so intentionally? I do not believe in demons, but I believe there are negative entities that will exploit fear and will do so in the most efficient form, which for dabbling Christian children is usually demonic.

Don't dabble in things in which you have education. If you're going to dabble, protect yourself and learn all you can about whatever it is you're exploring.

The urban legends and silly stories about demonic encounters with magic, tarot, and Ouija boards especially will probably never end. The least we can do is attempt to refute and educate.