Mabon/Winter Finding/Autumn Equinox

We celebrated our first holiday with my fiancé- a mostly-out-of-the-broom-closet pagan. He's been exploring and learning about the Northern Tradition. It's very interesting, learning with him and how to make our two paths work and meet to form something we can both celebrate and enjoy.

I finally decided I no longer care whether I am called Wiccan or not. Labels don't mean anything to me, and I've happily accepted much if not most of my structure comes from Wicca. I'm a eclectic at heart, and I simply cannot limit myself to one tradition or another or I feel stifled and lost.

We worked together to create a ritual and celebration of Mabon for me, Autumn Equinox for our non-pagan/or pagan curious guests, and Winter Finding for him.

It was a lovely celebration. We had three dear friends join in. My fiancé, Mr. T, was super excited and got very into things, happily involving himself as priest of our little family circle, and even helped call the circle itself. I used it as a teaching experience, lecturing about the symbolism of the seasons, the colors, the cycle of life, death, and rebirth.

The feast consisted of homemade bread, my popular garlic butter rolls (recipe at the bottom of this post), homemade bread, and my first ever pork roast. Guests brought plenty of apples and other homemade dishes, and we all left stuffed and happy. We did a little apple divination (ask a yes or no question while twisting the apple stem). In creating the feast, I thought long and hard about whether I would be stepping on the rights of others to imbue the food with magic for health, strength, etc. I ended up simply cooking with warming herbs and other herbs related to the season, and figured the warmth and good cheer could go without saying. We would (and did) create it together.

Then we got hammered.

Homemade peach wine (divine), Jaegar, Vodka, and bitch beer do not a happy Mr. T stomach make. What happened was something neither of us understand, but he underwent a powerful psychic transformation encouraged by the booze. Mind altering substances have been used since the dawn of humanity to encourage spiritual experiences. When one's mind is free, things that need to be said are said, things needed to be felt are felt. What better time than Mabon? Perfect for an old self to die and a new one to be reborn.

This led into a new period of spirituality for the two of us. We've been consciously focusing on creating a spiritual structure for us. We've been discussing the things that make us feel as though we are in a ritual environment (as most things from incense to the Catholic priest's robes are designed to take you from that mundane world into the sacred; read Eliade for information on the sacred and profane), and that sort of thing.

We both invested in some basic ritual gear, things that made us feel "witchy". Sometimes that extra boost is all you need. He purchased a tunic of panne velvet (which I could have made but not for the price we got it) and a purple and black floor-length hooded robe for me (which again, could have made but not for the price). He also purchased his first athame.

Together, last evening, we led a private handfasting for two wonderful friends of ours. This was a potent experience for the both of us, and I hope it was for them as well. We dressed in our ritual garb, and he adorned his face with runes. I draped myself in pentacles and decided to let go and just let the experience move me.

It did.

I'm slowly overcoming the blocks I've placed for myself, and I am finding fulfillment in my path again.

As promised, my garlic-cheddar biscuits:

I recommend you serve these hot, as once they are cool they lack something. Still delicious, apparently, but I prefer them fresh from the oven.

Next post: Mrs. T's Guide to Crafting a Shared Pagan Path

Ingredients:

2 cups of flower
1-2 tbls baking powder

2 tsp sugar

1/4 tsp salt (can choose to leave out)

3/4 cup butter or margarine

1/2-1 cup milk

Garlic power, garlic salt, diced garlic.

Graded cheddar

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Mix together flower, sugar, salt, and garlic powder. If you want them more salt, use garlic salt. Play with the mixture as you practice making these to get an exact proportion you like. Add diced garlic, stir in milk and 1/2 butter. Stir until dough is well mixed and not sticky, adding flour and milk as needed. Add cheese, stir.

Place small-ish balls of dough on a cookie sheet (exact size is up to you, smaller cooks faster). Top with more cheddar and garlic if you wish, and bake for 6-8 minutes or until golden brown.

While cooking, prepare garlic butter. Melt the extra butter for the recipe, and blend in diced garlic and garlic powder/salt. When biscuits are done, remove from oven and drizzle with the garlic butter.

This recipe should make around a dozen to two dozen (can't quite recall) biscuits, depending on the size you make. Enjoy!

Children who Dabble

I cannot count the number of times I have heard stories about teenagers and children dabbling in the occult that had "demonic experiences", later used as excuses for doing or not doing certain things. I've thought long and hard about this, and I have a theory. Let me begin with a story.

[edited for privacy; story involves demons summoning via ouija]

I have never, in all the 10+ years I have been involved in such activities, encountered a demon, had anything violent or negative summoned from a Ouija board or other talking board. Frankly, I've never bothered with trying to contact anything like that either. The worst that's ever happened is a spirit appeared, called itself a demon, and when confronted with the fact it was not a demon began to swear and say nasty things to the girls (myself including) using it. Hardly a scary Anubis-demon.

Let's proceed to my theory.

What is a Ouija board?

There is a great deal of information on talking boards if one wants to look. What follows is my experience. Ouija boards and other such tools act as gateways. The inexperienced user does not have the necessary skill to control what comes through. Any tool can be used like this, whether tarot, runes, or spirit board. With a weak mind and inexperience, you cannot control what happens.

This is of course presuming innocent curiosity. Should the noob attempt to use such a tool with the intent to summon something nasty, there are two things that can happen: either they will succeed (highly unlikely), or they will be so afraid they'll imagine it happening. Think of it like this: you have been raised an extremist Mormon. You have been taught these things will open doors. You will associate any experience with Satan. This will lead to demons. You saw a demon at the foot of your bed.

Why do children dabble?

Children dabble because of curiosity, because of rebellion, because of peer pressure. Whether it is magic, tarot, or Ouija boards, some children are just willing to explore. Children raised to believe that these things are inherently evil or open doorways to evil will interpret all experiences in this way. Imagination will take over, and suddenly everything from Satan himself to Jesus will appear.

Why do children seem to have worse experiences than adults?

In anthropology we have the concept of the "liminal" state. This is a state between states, where you are not quite apart of either world/ state of being and are in-between. During the period of say, a rite of passage, the initiate is no longer a child but is not yet an adult. Modern American society doesn't have rites of passage as a whole any longer. We are not taught the mysteries and secrets from one phase of life to the next. This leaves us with a hunger, and many children, stuck in the liminal state that is puberty, are looking for ways to sate it. Someone in this type of state is incredibly open to spiritual forces, both positive and negative and without proper framework and guidance can find themselves in all sorts of predicaments if they dabble. Think about poltergeists: often occur around prepubescent children and tend to disappear when they grow older. Puberty is a fascinating spiritual time.

I was taught tarot from childhood. I have always been taught how to discern what was good from what was bad, and the training (albeit unofficial training) kept me safe. Most children do not have this.

Adults are resistant to anything new, whether a new language or something spiritual. An adult using a Ouija for the first time with few, if any, preconceived notions will be less likely than a teenager to experience something at all with these kinds of tools. An adult racked with guilt at using something like this, will experience things and they will likely be bad.

Why do people see demons or gods from other religions?

In the case of my friend, he was likely taught (as most Christians and Mormons are) that the gods of other religions are demons; don't you think if you'd been reading or learning about other deities your subconscious training from your religious tradition would have them appear in the most frightening forms possible? Why this particular god? Perhaps if there was an entity that visited it sensed fear and decided to exploit that fear and appeared in the form it knew would frighten him. It is possible that the god *** himself showed up, perhaps as a warning in dabbling with the dead or for protection, and the boy interpreted his presence as evil and something to be feared. Perhaps as an adult he simply saw an image which made sense to him and projected that onto the past. When confronted with the obvious falseness had to create something else or his experience would mean nothing. Or perhaps he invented the entire thing, to explain his fear and guilt or just to get attention.

What about teens who experience good things?

Well these stories are fewer and far between among children not raised in households that do not fear or mistrust these types of tools. I imagine that the children who dabble and receive good experiences probably were not seeking something dark, and had good intentions. They may have subconsciously known what to do to protect themselves.

Conclusions:

All tools are neutral. If your intent is to conjure up something evil, you will. If you are afraid, that fear will exploit you and you will imagine negative things happening, or things that happen will be interpreted in a negative context. Ignorance breeds fear: educate yourself before using any tool. If you are from a religious traditions that emphasizes fear, the power of evil (especially through such tools) do us all a favor and don't dabble okay? You're giving the rest of us a bad name.

Back to my friend…

If it is not false, this young man dabbled in something he shouldn't have, without proper education and without knowledge. His ignorance (while not entirely his fault of course) led to misinterpretation of the experience, and in his present context he sees it as the god of another religion.This does not mean I don't love him, and doesn't mean I don't believe he experienced something. I do believe he did. I just do not believe it happened the way he remembers it, and I do believe some misinterpretation happened. I am sorry he feels such fear, and I wish there was something I could do to ease it.

Most teenagers engaging in these types of behaviors or running around calling themselves Satanists are ignorant. They don't know what they're exploring, what they're talking about, or even what the basic tenets of the religion the claim to follow are. What can we call a dark fluffer? A Fluffy Bat?

It takes ceremonial magicians years and years of training and study to summon demons. What evidence is there that a child with no training at all could do so intentionally? I do not believe in demons, but I believe there are negative entities that will exploit fear and will do so in the most efficient form, which for dabbling Christian children is usually demonic.

Don't dabble in things in which you have education. If you're going to dabble, protect yourself and learn all you can about whatever it is you're exploring.

The urban legends and silly stories about demonic encounters with magic, tarot, and Ouija boards especially will probably never end. The least we can do is attempt to refute and educate.

Pagan Wedding Planning: Making a Witchy Dress

So my dress is far from witchy, but it's quite fairy tale-esque.

So how can you bring witchy/pagan elements into a relatively "normal" wedding dress? Here are a few things I'm considering:

1. Blessing Spells: Since I won't be performing spells or obvious ritual work at the wedding itself, I plan on doing some similar spells and rituals on my dress. If you choose to do something like this just be sure to keep away anything that could stain or damage the dress in anyway far away from it.

2. Charms: I'm also considering sewing charms into the dress. This could be either literal jewelry charms or the spell kind, stitched into the dress in either obvious or not so obvious places, like the underskirt. If I do this, I will probably put runes to match our handfasting cords.

3. Jewelry: This is more easily done. A little pentacle necklace or carefully chosen stone can give the right elements. I would like to wear a circlet, I think, with Celtic knotwork.

I think anything chosen with intent can serve a magical or witchy purpose.

Talk to Your Plants

My grandmother taught me to talk to your plants. She said it makes them stronger and happier, and that a plant that hears too much fighting or sadness will not grow. I sing to my plants; I give them names and talk to them. They swell with growth quickly, and handle repotting better than plants I haven't chatted with. Plants have energies like people do; they can feel, they respond. Take time to get to know the energies of your houseplants, and learn how they affect your energy and the energy of your home.

There is little conclusive evidence for the affects of voices and music on plants. Some studies have found little to no difference, others have found great difference. In my biology class a few semesters ago, my fiancé and I subjected three plants to different forms of music. One plant was forced to listen to Christian music for hours at a time, one plant was forced to listen to Ozzy, one listened to nothing at all. The Ozzy plant bloomed soonest, and the Christian plant died after only three weeks from sprouting. The neutral plant was slightly smaller than the Ozzy plant. Whether there is anything more to this project, I don't know. I do find it hilarious that the Jesus music killed my plant.

My mother's chemical free pesticide:

Mix a few teaspoons of Dawn dish detergent into a spray bottle with water (you may also add vinegar). The mixture repels aphids and prevents gnats from eating at your plants.

My Grandmother's Garlic Trick:

Plant garlic cloves near your garden to keep root-eating pests and mosquitoes away. Garlic flowers are also very beautiful in their own right- beauty and function!

Oh, and I have an aloe plant named Cthulhu.

Things My Cats Teach Me

It is pretty much established that I am going to end up a crazy cat lady, and I'm only a few cats shy of that as it is. The neighborhood cats know there will always be a bowl of food for them on my porch, and even the practically feral strays feel safe enough to rest on my porch in the rain. My own kitties are decidedly odd.

My large black cat, a boy named Athena, can't decide if he is a dog or a human. He is overly friendly, curious, talkative, and loveable. He is the first cat I encountered that lets just about any visitor pet his tummy, and he gets quite irritated when they stop or when they don't greet him upon arrival. He's also the size of a small dog.

My Loki is a pound kitty I adopted as a kitten on a whim, which may have been an irresponsible thing to do. He is huge, fat, and is intermittently shy and afraid of everything and friendly and cuddly. He doesn't like to meow much and likes to stare at you with his large blue eyes. We often joke there isn't much going on in that head of his, but when he looks at you, you feel it, and you can't help but giggle a little.

Caesar is another adoptee, the kitten of Athena's littermate. He is a flame point Siamese with an attitude problem. He is far too smart for his own good, and can't decide if he likes being petted or not.

My strays are Frankie Four Paws (another flame point), Red (an orange and white tabby), and Miss (a tortie who is always pregnant).

All these animals have taught me very interesting lessons about life and the way I approach the world. Before I get into this, allow me to discuss the ethics of responsible pet ownership:

All pets should be spayed or neutered unless you are breeding the animal. This prevents more unwanted animals from being born and unable to find families. It also prevents unwanted animals sniffing around your property for your fertile female and your male from running off to find your neighbor's female.

Never adopt, no matter how good your intentions are, more animals than you can afford to properly care for, in regards to food and veterinary care. It also applies to your time too- if you cannot physically handle the care of the pets, do not have the pets or more than you can devote your time and energy too.

Never adopt an animal that you do not have the appropriate environment for. I would love to have a fennec fox as a pet, but my situation is not appropriate for such a pet. Also, consider other animals you own before adopting any others. If you are a renter, consider how a pet will impact your ability to find a new home in the future (something I wish we would have considered), and never adopt without your landlord's permission. I was raised to treat animals as family members- do not consider a pet to be something you can simply throw away when you decide it's time to move on. This is cruel to the animal and shows no respect for your pet.

Things my Cats Have Taught me….

1. Responsibility: As the above rant about pet ethics shows, my own cats have taught me how to be responsible and make responsible decisions. I have discovered how difficult housekeeping has become with three cats, and I know my responsibilities towards them. This extends to the rest of my life as well. I try not to take on more than I can handle, and I treat all my responsibilities with respect and care.

2. Awareness: My cats are intimately aware of their environment. They can sense changes; they respond to these changes. I trust my cats's reactions- certain people make them uncomfortable, and the same to me. Energy levels shift and change and my cats respond accordingly, raising my own awareness of the energy in my home. Nothing makes my cats happier than a nice clean house to rampage through- and you can feel the energy shift. This applies in a spiritual sense as well.

3. Adaptability: Cats aren't that great at adapting. I takes them awhile to get used to situations, but once they have made themselves comfortable, anywhere is fine for a catnap. I consider each situation carefully, and I make my environment my own. I adjust, but not too quickly, and once I have I'm comfortable and secure. I've also learned most surfaces that stay still for at least 10 minutes at a time are great places for napping.

4. Cleanliness: My cats are happiest with a clean litter box, fresh water, and a clean house to terrorize. The messier my house becomes, the more lethargic and depressed they become. My cats are fastidious cleaners (except for Loki, whose personal grooming leaves much to be desired), and they've taught me to be careful of my own appearance and the appearance of my home. A clean home and a clean spirit are welcoming.

5. Curiosity: Cats are curious to a fault, they've taught me to approach the world with wonder and joy. They've also taught me to be aware of my circumstances, and not let that curiosity get the better of me.

6. Magic: Cats are known as witch's familiars for a reason. Cats are intuitive and magical, aware of other worlds and magic. I recommend reading Ted Andrew's book "Animal Speak" for more insight into the magic of the house cat.

A cat may be a house pet, but it's predatory instincts are still there. No matter how cuddly the cat, an expert hunter lies beneath that nonchalant surface. Much is hidden in your cat; watch her, learn from her, try to understand her, and maybe you'll learn something about your own self in the process.

Miniature Book of Shadows Tutorial

You'll need:

Cardboard (thickness is up to you, but I like to use corrugated cardboard)
Glue (Elmer's white glue or glue stick, hot glue or super glue or other strong glue)
Dark tea bag, steeped (but don't burn yourself!)
Match or lighter
Water
Decorative objects (flowers, scrapbooking materials, stickers, etc)
Printed pictures
Ribbons
Decorative paper and/or fabric
Stapler or thread and needle
Scissors
Ruler
Pencil



Step 1: Creating Our Antique Pages

Use the tea to stain the white paper. You'll want to stain both sides with a tea bag, and let them dry. To lighten the color you can add more water while it's still wet, and to darken add multiple coats after the previous coats have dried. Let the paper dry thoroughly. Be sure to stain both sides of the paper and don't use until dry. While drying, proceed to the next step.



Step 2: The cover

Cut a rectangular piece of cardboard to the dimensions you need.
For a 42 cm doll I used a piece of cardboard about 6"x3" give or take. This makes a book about the same finished size as the ones in this tutorial. You will want to leave a few centimeters in the middle to form the book's spine and so you have a place to add your pages. Fold the sides of the cardboard down to make a crease, leaving a bit of space for the spine. The larger your spine the more pages your book will hold.




Step 3: Decorate cover, add book marks

This is where your gluegun or other strong glue comes in. Cut a bit of fabric or paper to be slightly larger than your cardboard. Glue the edges of the fabric all the way around, and let it dry. After it is dry, cut some strips of ribbon several inches long (they may look too long but when all your pages are in there very little will hang over the edge). You can finish the edges so they don't fray if you want. Glue one end of the ribbon onto the spine of the book to create some book marks.





Step 4: Antiquing the Pages

Your tea-stained paper dry? Awesome. At this point you will want to measure out rectangle slightly smaller than your book (you can choose to make them larger and hang out the edge if you'd like). Cut out and make several stacks of these rectangles. You can crinkle the paper, tear it, or do whatever you want to it before burning.

Next, get your match or lighter with your water handy, and light the edges of the pages on fire, and otherwise add burn marks and scorch marks for an aged look. You don't want them to burn too long or your pages will deteriorate. The idea is to go for a slightly worn look, not a tossed-in-a-bonfire look. Warning: it is very easy for flames to get out of control! Always keep water or a fire extinguisher handy just in case, and be sure there is nothing flammable near your burn space. If you are a kid or unsure if you can do this, have an adult do it for you. Be sure to get parental permission!

Fold the rectangles in half and set them in the book (don't glue them in just yet!) this is just to see how thick you want the book to be and still be able to close. Once you see how many stacks it will take to make your book the thickness that you want, keeping in mind any extras you put in to decorate will make the book thicker, staple or stitch the packets.

Step 5: Place pages in the book

For this step, add a line of hot glue or your strong glue to the spine of each packet and hold them into the book's spine until dry. Continue adding the packets as you need. Be sure to keep the ribbons above the book so they don't get glued behind the pages! Trim any excess from the outside of the book, and make sure things are nice and even and dry.



Step 6: Decorate the book

This is the fun part and entirely dependant on your imagination! What I did was look around online for neat-looking pages, like sheet music or book of shadows pages, and size them in Photoshop, but you can use paint and word. You can make your own, but I didn't for this tutorial. Print these, cut them out, and use your Elmer's glue or other glue to place them onto the individual pages (make sure not to use hot glue for this part or the pages will be bumpy and thick).

From this point, it's up to you. You can glue tiny cards and flowers, add stickers or other scrapbook supplies, add your own sketches or writing into the book, whatever you'd like. If you want to work with a theme or organize your book decide on that before you start gluing things in. Make sure as you work on individual pages that you leave room for the pages to dry or they will glue together with all your little details stuck between them and possibly getting ruined.



Step 7: Adding a Closure

If your book is thick or you simply want a closure for your book, glue some ribbon or matching fabric in a little strip to the back of the book. Stitch or glue a snap to the cover and the other end of the ribbon, let it dry, and voila! Closure. Alternatively, simply glue a really long ribbon to the back and wrap it around the book to close.

The sky is the limit and you can use this tutorial to make many different kinds of little books. As a bit of advice, when reducing image size, increase the pixel resolution to make the images clearer.



I hope this all makes sense! If you need more photos or details or whatnot, post a comment!

Relationship Evangelism, and What to do with your Non-pagan In-laws

I learned this week exactly what my fiance's family thinks of me, and I am hardly surprised. To begin, this is his father's side of the family, die-hard Mormon, very traditional, very anti-anything different. (His mother's side loves me.)

The extended family views me as dangerous, a witch (which is not entirely false but their perception of it is), and that the MIL and FIL shouldn't allow the little girls (fiance's sisters) to spend they night with us, because I will corrupt them. I'm also apparently creepy because I hang around in graveyards (and I have a few pics of me in them). I learned all this about three days before we were supposed to go visit them in Nevada for four days. Fortunately, fate saw to it the car broke down and the trip was cancelled.

Fiance also came out to his mother this same week. He told her is not Mormon, so she asked what he was. He told her was Norse pagan, and said he worships old gods. She cried and basically said that if at any point she thought he was into something dangerous, she'd cut him out of her life. Just like that. She then asked if it was because of me.

The fact of the matter is, no matter what happens in the near future, his family will always blame me for him leaving the Mormon church. They blamed me for convincing him to move in with me, when in fact it was his idea (he cleared this up, fortunately). They will always see me as a corruptive force, no matter how much they may like me as a person. He has stood up to his father when he called me an atheist, and I have no doubt he will support me should his family overstep their bounds.

Relationship evangelism- it happens:

No, I did not set out to convert my fiance to paganism. Like many people of various religious persuasions, I often thought it would be nice to share my faith with someone, to build a family tradition around. I wish I could say I'd never tried a little pagan style evangelism, but I did.

It began with a critical discussion of the LDS church. Once my fiancé double-checked my facts and data, his worldview underwent a radical shift, and he began to learn and study all he could about Mormonism, finally deciding to leave it for good. He still considered himself Christian, and we had no issues or problems. Then he began to ask me questions about my faith, and I answered him.

As you live and grow with a person, you cannot help but pick up certain traits and habits and develop new ones together. Religiosity is much the same- stay with someone long enough and you'll pick up a few quirks here and there.

Does this constitute evangelism? To a degree I did intentionally plant the seeds of doubt in a mind that already questioned but admitted he was too afraid to question. He says I was the support he needed to feel strong and brave, and that because of me he has found his walk.

Is it relationship evangelism to talk, to seek, to grow together, to provide the answers the other one asks for? Perhaps. But did I enter in to this relationship with the intention of converting him? No, I most certainly did not. Religion was never an issue for me, or for him.

They are afraid of my intermittent dark clothing choices, my love of ouija and tarot and cemetery walks; they'll never understand my doll collecting or my quirkiness, and that's fine. My only wish is that they will take the time to come to know me as a person, and perhaps find some way to overlook the labels and all the baggage that has been placed on me by those labels. Maybe they'll even like me.

So, here are some points to share with non-pagan in-laws:

You don't need to be afraid of us.

1. Pagans do not worship Satan (we do not believe he exists outside of the Christian religion).

2. We do not condone, encourage, or engage in abuse of any kind: this includes animal abuse, sacrifice, and slaughter, human abuse, sacrifice and slaughter, and sexual abuse, humiliation, or misconduct of any kind. Any pagan engaging in such practices is most certainly a nutcase, and not a pagan.

3. When your pagan inlaw refers to themselves as pagan, they may mean: Asatru, Wiccan, witch, neo-pagan, eclectic pagan, etc. Each pagan will believe differently, and most love to answer questions and point you to proper resources.

4. A pagan who practices magic or tarot or other sort of magical or divinatory practice does not do so with the intent to gain power or control others.

5. Pagans have ethics too. They believe that morals and ethics are relative, and each tradition will have it's own ethics (for example, we of the Northern persuasion believe in honor, hospitability, hard work, loyalty, family, etc).

6. A pagan believes in God, and probably a lot of them (though they could be atheistic, but this is less common).

7. Pagans are not set to destroy Christianity or related religions, nor are they set to bring about the end of American society. Most pagans are simply pluralists, who believe all religions and people should have equal rights, regardless of label.

8. Always, always ask questions.

9. Read as much as you can, but from neutral sources first (Christian sources notoriously misrepresent paganism with lies and false stories of their conversions from paganism; these have been routinely proven false.)